christmas time

i love this time of year.

the smell of christmas trees. peppermint hot chocolate. 

twinkling lights, wishing for snow and 

mostly

i love being with family

and the love you feel at home.

i wish that i felt this happy all year long.

don't you?!

i 

just

love

it! 

{2010: picking a tree last year }

magical.

this is the picture i wanted to share. 

amazingly it is completely raw and un-edited.

i think that it is magical...

and i love it!

time

wow. it has been quite a while hasn't it.

the past few weeks that i have been gone {aka not blogging} have been a whirlwind of learning and growth.

i started teaching, have been spending more time with the husband, more time sleeping, and more time thinking than i feel like...well ever. 

isn't it funny,

that when you have nothing going on, you feel like you don't get anything done...

then, when your days are full you make time for whats important and seem to get more done that ever?!

the weekend after school started,

the husband and i drove to eastern washington so that he

could get some footage he needed for a film.

you are probably thinking.

BOO, 5 hours in a car in eastern washington...NOT fun! 

but i have to say,

it was one of the best trips i have taken. 

i loved having along time with the Mr.

i loved that it was just us.

{i have a picture to share, but amazing technology will not let me...i will save it for later}

i am so grateful at this time to have

a husband who is so loving and supportive.

i wouldn't say that august was our best month of marriage.

{don't get me wrong, everything is fine}

we just...didn't really see each other.

i was so busy planning that i had little time for anything else.

and what did husband say or do about it...

he gave me hugs and kisses every day and each and every day

told me how proud he is of me.

sigh.

i really don't know what i would do without that man. 

keys

i had a good reminder of the power of prayer.

i have been meaning to write about this for a while now.

but, well... you know. 

my life is caaaa-razy right now.

so here is the story:

the husband and i were house sitting a little while ago and my sister-in-law and i had headed over to the house to check on the pets.

when we got there and turned the car off

the keys refused to come out of the ignition.

the car was off.

it was in park.

but those stubborn keys would NOT come out.

we tried...over and over and over.

we tried everything.

no luck.

we ended up being able to park the car in the garage 

{as we could not lock the car without the keys...duh}

then came the problem.

the next day the husband and i were going to a baptism.

we were trying to figure out what to do because we couldn't both go inside leaving the keys in the car.

we both had to get clothes for the baptism from our apartment...

i went in first and the husband sat in the car on key duty.

i changed and went back to car.

there was husband, walking toward the doors.

keys-in-hand!

i couldn't believe he had gotten them free.

i asked him how he did it..

with a grin he said

"i said a prayer and they just...came out"

all i could do was smile back.

thank you for the reminder darlin'

today

today, of course, is sunday.

but aren't sunday's supposed to be a day of rest?

i think i have heard that...

...somwhere.

church was eventful...to say the least.

i got to say my prayer

and i got a new calling!

 {more on this later}

it was busy busy busy.

and then...it didn't slow down.

from the moment i have gotten home i have been:

cutting

gluing

typing

labeling

planning

stressing

and mostly sweating! 

i am not kidding you, 

it is 1,000 degrees in our apartment 

and i am sweating just sitting in one place. 

{sick, i know}

anyway...it has not been one of those sundays that i like.

it has been one of those that feels more like a...

monday.

boo.

i told you so.

see...i told you he is going crazy.

this is what happens when i leave the husband 

stranded

for a whole week

at our apartment

without a car...

yikes.

neglect.

the neglect of this here blog this week is not due to a lack of thoughts. 

trust me i have plenty of them...

its due to the fact i have to take a completely empty classroom 

and turn it in to a first grade paradise.

this means 6:00am-10:00pm i am buuuuusy. 

this is the husband and i...

i am going a little crazy. i think he is too....

the city

so it's settled then. 

i am moving to the country...

well, not really. but i really do want to. 

{the husband thinks i am crazy}

i am so tired of stupid lovely city people.

there is too much focus on the material goods of life.

too much stress.

too much pressure to look, act, and be perfect...and to fit in with everyone.

it's just too fast paced.

too...irritating.

i want to get out of all of it.

SO i have decided i am moving to the country.

it's better there.

i am going to go put on a pair of overalls now and chew on some wheat...

thats all. 

happy weekend.

:) 

aha!

yesterday i had a big aHA moment. 

i was sitting in the chapel, waiting for church to start

heart beating, very fast, as i prepared to say the opening prayer for our sacrament meeting.

the husband was scheduled to say the prayer but he had to leave unexpectedly to pick someone up

so it was all up to me.

and then the bishop announced that someone else was saying the prayer.

part of me said "phew"

the other part was a little sad...weird i know.

anyway...

that set me up for the rest of sacrament meeting.

i was feeling the spirit really strongly yesterday.

then i realized why.

i have been expecting the feel the spirit as of lately, and often times i do not feel it.

this can be really frustrating.

i want the spirit to be with me all the time, but the problem is...that it isnt.

then the aHA came. 

i cannot expect the spirit to be with me if i am not actively pursuing it. 

the key word here folks is actively.

without a doubt the spirit will be with me if I am actively seeking the spirit and doing the right things...

if i pray.

if i read the scriptures.

if i actually pay attention in church...

 rather than tuning out merely hoping that i can feel the spirit...

if i do all the right things...

i will feel the spirit.

why is something so simple like this so hard to figure out sometimes?!

1 year...

happy anniversary to the most handsome husband in all the land! 

one year and counting....

we've only got, oh... an eternity more! 

i am one lucky girl.

doubts.

here's another formspring question and answer....

did you have doubts right before converting? have you had doubts since?

i have answered the first bit of this one before...

in "the letter"

"i had lost the confidence i had in my decision to be baptized and was so nervous i didn't think i would make it through the night. before i left my boyfriends house that evening he stopped me and said that he had forgotten to give me something...it was a letter from one of the missionaries father..."

{http://throughtheeyesofamormon.blogspot.com/2010/01/letter.html}

it's funny how the spirit and the adversary work...

i had all the confidence in the world with my choice to be baptized...

but the night before my baptism the adversary tried to knock me down as hard as he could.

i am grateful for the love and support that i had and still have, or else my choice would have been much harder.

my baptism would still have happened, but it would have been much more difficult to get into that water.

as for today, and doubts that may have arisen...they haven't.

yes living a "mormon lifestyle" isn't always the easiest...

we live in a day and age where promiscuity and drinking is almost expected.
that is not me, nor will it ever be, but i am ridiculed for not being like everyone else.

does it make it harder to find true friends?

 yes.

does it give me doubts about my choice?

never. 

i know that my choice was the right one to make.

i know that i am where i need to be.

again?!

it happened again...

and i swear i am being followed.

whenever i am struggling or issues in my life have come up,

that sunday at church something weird happens.

it happened last sunday.

i was at church like usual, paying attention to all the lessons that every one had prepared like normal when i went to relief society {the class for women only}

as i listened, i realized that the lesson being taught 

was addressing, quite literally, all the problems that i was facing that week. 

i could not have planned a better lesson for

what i was going through...it brought tears to my eyes.

i was overwhelmed by the spirit in the room.

so then, who is following me and telling the teachers 

exactly what to say?!

because it is definitely not just a coincidence.

and it happens all the time! 

confessions of a convert.

i received a few questions on formspring {due to yesterday's post}

 i will be answering them all...

but here is the first:

question: hardest part about converting?

this is an easy one for me...

although i hate to admit it. 

thus it is a great addition to my "confessions" series.

the hardest part about converting, for me, was the instant label/ stereotype that i was giving myself.

when most people hear the word "mormon" it isn't usually the best of thoughts that pops into their head.

and i was one of those people...so i know.

it was extremely hard for me to realize that if i joined the church

i would be a "mormon"...

why did there have to be such a negative connotation to the word?!

i still struggle with this, to a much lesser degree.

occasionally i get nervous for people to find out what religion i am...

i don't want them to think differently about me because of what i believe in.

and especially not because of stereotypes and rumors.

what do you want to know?!

is there something you have been just dying for me to blog about?

 an aspect of my conversion story 

or about my life now?

now's your chance to ask...

formspring me!

i will post the questions and answers on this here blog.

it's anonymous so you don't have to be worried about the question you ask...

so what are you waiting for?

ask away! 

{and remember no question is a bad one!}

no words.

my heart is truly hurting right now...

i am literally in pain because of all of the sadness and suffering 

that goes on in our world every day.

 i am especially hurting for norway right now...

i hate that this type of event can happen to innocent people.

 i hate that there is nothing i can do about it,

and nothing i can do to prevent it from happening again.

my heart is with all the family, friends, loved ones, and any one 

who has been affected by this tragedy.

my prayers are with you all. 

o-ficially done.

i did it! 

i am officially done with my master's in teaching program.

phew. 

it has been a long year. 

to say the least.

i have learned a lot. 

prepared a lot. 

stressed out...a lot.

neglected the husband a lot. 

lost sleep...a lot. 

and gone a little crazy.

but it has been oh, so worth it...becuase I AM DONE! 

{hopefully i will be able to teach this little guy some day!}

that's all! 

happy friday friends! 

:) 

confessions of a convert.

so anyone who knows a bunch about the LDS church knows about callings.

a calling is when you are asked to be a specific position in the church...it might be a sunday school teacher, a leadership position, or you {if you are a male with the priesthood} might even be called to be the bishop...but all of these positions are unpaid, and done by faith and obedience.

please...tell me if the following is a convert thing:

i am pretty sure i want every-single-calling possible that i could have...

when i think of what i would like to do 

{and remember you don't pick your callings, so this was just daydreaming really} 

i'll think of one calling, like being a relief society teacher, and then all of a sudden i think of a completely different calling, like working with the young women of the church {high school age} and  knowing i would love that as well...

i get excited for every opportunity that is out there for me!

here comes the kicker...

remember this confession....

i asked to be released from my last calling...

which you just don't typically do...

so who am i kidding, i probably don't deserve one at all! 

but i am ready when it happens! 

:) 

me! a photographer?!

the husband and i are taking our friends' engagement pictures today...
have we ever taken any one's engagement pictures before?
well...no.

last month we shot a different friend's wedding video.

i am noticing a trend here...and yikes.
 i am pretty sure wedding photography is not on my resume.
nor do i claim to be a good photographer...
but here goes nothing!

i will let you know how it goes!
{fingers are crossed it goes well!}

video.

the husband just finished a new video, and i just have to show you. 

every time he creates a new video i am more and more impressed...its insanity.
i am thinking he should take over my blog because he has a waaaayy with words, i tell ya!

this particular video is about finding spirituality...

it was inspired by a hike he took a year ago with our brother-in-law.

take the time to watch the video...you will not be disappointed.

wedding pictures.

due to many requests...here are some wedding pictures! 

confessions of a convert.

this blog is about my life through mormon eyes right?

right.

on that note, i have something to share...

mormons talk about church a lot.

this is something i used to give my husband a hard time about {in a cute, joking way of course}... i used to tease him that he could take any conversation and "bring it back to church". in other words, he could relate anything to something "churchy".

what i have realized though is that as a member of the LDS church, church comes up every day. i am not talking a mention of the word "church", i am talking a full conversation, literally everyday, comes up naturally no matter how your day is going or what you are doing.

it is because being LDS it isn't just something you do on sunday, it is a lifestyle change. it is a part of who you are.

you could be on a date, with friends, at dinner, with family, at a theme park...it doesn't matter. sometime during the day church will come up.

i know that this is not true of other faiths...because i have lived another faith...i have friends and family of other faiths...i know many people of other faiths... it may be true of some church going people, but seriously...who talks about church everyday?!

well...i do. and i like it.

and that is my confession.

the fourth.

we are back! after 2 days of tent sleeping, pigging out, and having a blast...we are back home and trying to get back into 'normal' day to day stuff again. 

i love the fourth of july...

spending time with family...

watching fireworks...

 eating s'mores by the fire...

playing on the beach...

it just doesn't get much better that that.

{feeling patriotic!}

{this was the husband and my residence for the weekend...very chic, we know...}

{playing bocce ball on the beach, a favorite family beach game.}

{enjoying the sunshine!}

the temple.

we finally made it to the temple again... and can i just say, there is not a more serene, calm place that exists on this earth.

i felt like time had literally slowed down, and the husband and i could have been in there forever and not missed a thing going on in the hustle and bustle of life! i wish that the husband and i would be motivated to go more often...

why do we all, as humans, have bursts of motivation followed by periods of pure and utter laziness and lack of care?! 

it happens to everyone with work, school work, hobbies, working out, and really anything...i just wish it didn't.

if any of you out there have a magic tip about keeping motivation alive, holler at your girl. ;-p 

i wont be back until after the holiday weekend...have a WONDERFUL fourth of july, i will 'see' you all soon! 

dandelions always remind me of a firework!
so...if you cannot have fireworks where you live this weekend,
find some of the puppies and blow away!
{but don't forget to make a wish!!} 

can't hold it in any longer!!

i am going to be a FIRST GRADE TEACHER next year!! 

i just got the call, and i am literally bursting at the seams. 

this has been amazing year, and i cannot believe i am being blessed with...

 my dream job!!!

more about me...

so i realized, because of a question asked on formspring {thank you} that i have told you all a lot about my life, but little about me!

here is a quick run down...if it sparks more questions in your mind, go ahead and ask will ya! :)

• i was born in california.
• my family moved to washington when i was 2.
• i have 3 older brothers (twins 5 years older than me, and the other brother is two years older than me. we look nothing alike. trust me... or just look below.

• i love my mom, and we have always been very close. i tell her everything.
• i obviously have a dad too, of who(m?) i love dearly as well. i was a daddy's girl growing up. i think that happens when you are the only girl.
• my parents announced their divorce when i was going into my senior year in high school.
• i have now inherited a step-mom and two step-siblings...only i don't like the whole "step" title. 

And for some randoms:

• i refused to wear pants when i was younger. my family had to trick me into grandmother-made jumpers by calling them "bubbles".

{sweet "bubble" huh?!}

• disneyland is one of my absolute favorite places on earth.
• i have a very rational fear of spiders of any size.
• i have a very irrational fear of anyone who looks like Carrot Top...especially of course, Carrot Top himself. 
• i am obsessed with desserts, chocolate and sugar. yummm. 

{some things never change}

• i love the beach, car trips, and any vacation.
• i love to dance {grew up dancing, which evolved into cheerleading, which i did through freshmen year in college}
• i like to take pictures.
• i hate to read.

{some things definitely change!}

• my favorite color has always been purple... i lied. there was a 2 week {literally} period when my favorite color was blue. {i was 7, i wanted to be the same as my best friend. didn't last long. purple rocks}
• i am a hopeless romantic
• i married my first love. 
• i love life... and all of its ups and downs.

i hope that tells you a little more about me. now i want to know more about you! so answer this one:

do you have any irrational fears...that are, of course, rational to you?!

confession of a convert.

i had just finished dinner with the husbands family when my phone rang. i answered the phone to hear a lot of commotion and my brother saying, "hi, i have a really random question"...not thinking much of the situation i said "okkkk...."

this is what he said, "is it true mormons have to give 10% of their income to temple?"

OK... random is right, that really came out of left field! my brother is a self-proclaimed atheist so i am wondering at this point, which of his friends brought that up, and what else are they talking about?!

i answered his question, "well, we do pay a tithing of 10% of our income, but it doesn't just go to the temples. there are many other things the money goes to. it is also a choice to pay tithing, no one can make you do anything, we all can choose to pay or not, that is between us and the Lord."

he just couldn't seem to get over this fact...asking me how they monitor if we really pay 10%, if they check our pay checks and what they do if we don't pay the money...after explaining that it is all based on honesty he seemed to understand. i related tithing to the offerings made in the episcopal church we grew up in, this helped tithing make much more sense to him.

we finished our conversation with me reminding him that if he ever reads or hears something weird about the church to make sure he asks me before believing what he hears and he said "i know, i figured i would call you and brett because you are the the ones i trust about this stuff"

i am so happy that my brother was able to call me and ask for the truth about something one of his friends was just throwing around in a conversation.

it also made me a little sick to my stomach to think that my brother and his friends were talking about the church, when none of them are members. i know what a lot of people think about the church, and it isn't all good.

so here is the confession: it sucks to know that my family hears a lot of garbage and false truths about the church, and most likely believes it...it sucks to know that my family talks about me behind my back.

{my brother and i on top of tiger mountain}

change.

some things need to change...

you know when you are listening to the radio and you keep hearing songs that make you think, "i swear that song was written for me!" or "that is exactly how i feel!"... well that has been happening to me a little too much lately.

i keep hearing songs which make me think that i need to work on this or that. i think it is the holy ghost trying to get me to hear what it has to say...because i am not doing a very good job listening these days.

ugh. i hate the ruts we put ourselves in!

but like i said some things are going to change starting now.

why is it that when i ask the husband to do something for me, could be as simple as getting me a glass of water, he does it, willingly...but when he asks me to do the same for him i have the worst attitude like it's a pain in the you know what?!

my life got so stressful and so overwhleming that i lost sense of what is really important...and that is not me... its those around me.

my goal, and please, feel free to hold me accoutable {message me, email me, formspring me, etc}, is to be as selfless as i can be.

its not my time anymore, its time for everyone else... especially the handsome husband i have who is sitting right next to me, oblivious i am writing this all about him! :)

{it's time for your babes}

inspirational.

i wanted to share a video that the husband made...

he has a video production company and makes boring (but really good) business videos for his job.

however, in his spare time he comes up with videos like this one... i think he has a gift, but then again, i might be a little biased...

enjoy! :)

new camera.

i am so excited about my new camera!

new camera= more pictures on the blog. i have gotten a lot of requests for more pictures...i haven't heard anything the other way, and if you enjoy just the writing, please, let me know! i would love any and all opinions of you readers out there. ;)

anyway, like i said in my birthday blog post, the husband killed me (almost) by buying me my dream camera. now i just like to snap shots of whatever is around me. i thought i w

ould share a few pictures that i have taken...just for fun! :)

{my cute nephew looking for bugs on his finger}

{admiring natures beauty}

{gotta love a man in uniform...and yes that is my man!}

;]

going to a wedding.

i am going to a wedding today.

the husband has been asked if he would video/photograph the wedding as the wedding is a good friend's. the guy has never shot a wedding before, is very nervous, and has been watching video tutorials for about a week straight to get some new shot ideas and camera adjustments. (i know he will do an amazing job. the man pours his heart and soul into ever project he does).

anyway, going to a wedding obviously makes me reflect on my own wedding. but mostly, because the wedding we are going to is not an LDS wedding, it makes me reflect upon the temple. it is a reminder to me how special my wedding day was...

when the husband and i were sealed, it was indescribable. the spirit inside the temple was so strong that day that i knew i was where i needed to be. i knew i had made the right, although insanely tough, decision to be married away from my family (who are not LDS) and be married/sealed in the temple. the temple is a remarkable place. i wish i could relive my wedding day over and over.

the husband and i coming out of the temple. you can read more about my wedding day here.

"psh, dumb kids. i never was a kid, really."

what is it with some people?

i just left my end of the school year celebration with my first graders...the one where i promised i would wait to cry until i got home...felt tears forming, but bit my lip as hard as i could and held it back! success. (how awkward would it be to break into the ugly cry with all the parents there?!)

i am going to miss this group of first graders SO much! :( i had the best time student teaching. it has been an unforgettable experience.

but it has made me think about something.

it is obvious by my career path that i love children. what i don't get is how there are so many people in this world that don't like kids, that have that "i never was a kid attitude" and no patience. who do you think are you?!

i understand those who don't want to be a teacher, but how can you look at a child and not smile. they are so full of love and innocence.

the other day a woman walking out of a parking lot into a crosswalk got extremely mad at a young boy, no older than 6, for being "in her way" when she was definitely the one who did not have the "right of way" as she walked directly into his path without looking.

it made me sad that she was so upset at such a young child, when it was not even his fault. ok, ok... maybe she was having a bad day...but still, he's just a kid!

the Savior taught us to be as little children. to be meek, humble, full of love, innocence and to be mold-able. if we can always keep this in mind, not only will we be more understanding, but we will be able to find true happiness in life.

look to the children in your life as examples of who you should be.

confessions of a convert.

it is never fun to be made fun of. i thought that bullying and being picked on ended in high school... boy was i wrong.

being a member of the church can be really hard sometimes. to be blunt, when you are baptized you are giving yourself a label. to those people who don't know anything about the church, that label can be a very negative one.

the other day i went to a small gathering (5 people total) with teachers from the school that i am interning at. the host was very excited to be serving margaritas... and eager to pass them out.

at this point, i don't think any of the other teachers knew that i was mormon, just that i didn't drink coffee...not drinking alcohol at this party would be a definite give away...(who on earth doesn't drink coffee or alcohol besides a mormon?! come on people, i mean seriously?!)

i obviously said "no thank you" to the margarita, as did one other woman...but OF COURSE i was the one that was singled out for it...

it was clear at this point that one teacher knew exactly "what i was" and she was not a fan.

little jabs about not drinking and being immature started to come out.

at one point she even went into the kitchen to get a re-fill, i glanced into the kitchen to see what was going on and she said "oh, kristen is watching, better be careful!"

i was hurt, mad, embarrassed, and did not want to be at the party any longer.

i never ever said anything about drinking being bad... i never said they shouldn't drink. i wasn't the only one not drinking, so why do she find the need to make fun of me?!

so here's the confession...sometimes being a member of the LDS church is hard, especially being in a crowd of non-members. you might get set apart by others for negative reasons, put down, made fun of, and sometimes laughed at...

i found it hard to handle, and i left in tears.

the husband tells me it will get better. he says that growing up in the church you hear that stuff all the time and grow a thick skin.

my skin is getting thicker each day. i am proud to be who i am. i am proud to be a member of the LDS church. i am proud of each and every decision i make.

it just sucks that at 24 years old i still have to deal with stupid bullies.

ugh.

my birthday.

do you remember me? i used to blog. and then i got busy, stressed and had a birthday!

lets rewind to may 28th...

i had such a wonderful, fun filled birthday weekend. the husband took me to dinner and a movie on saturday to celebrate a day early, then about killed me, with shock, when he gave me a new camera for my birthday! i was SO surprised!

saturday, the 29th, on the actual day of my birth te-hee, my dad took the husband and i to dinner. it was delicious! after dinner we went to my father-in-laws where my sister-in-law had made me the coolest cake in the shape of a 24! she's a creative one she is...

isn't it awesome!

again i was in dis-belief when i opened up the gift from her family......the

y got me american idol live tickets!!! no judging now, i am about 12 years old and i am so excited it hurts. now i just have to wait until july 8th. time kills.

that is pure shock right there...

to top off this fun filled weekend, one of my all time life-long dream/goals came true. the husband, brother and i went hiking this morning and we looked up and in front of us was....A BEAR! of course, my dream is coming true and what do i do?...oh i definitely ran the other direction...and i was the one with the camera. drrrrrrr. oops. well at least i got one paparazzi shot for proof.

(although the bear was literally in the middle of the trail, perfectly visible, and i snapped this after it walked away). oh well.

hope you're doing well! i feel like i have been letting everyone down by not posting...life is slowing down, i will be around more :)

confessions of a convert.

i will come right out an say it...i miss taking the discussions and preparing for my baptism! i know, i know...it has been 3 years, but i miss the excitement and the joy that a baptism brings.

now, i love going to baptisms. they all make me cry. it doesn't matter who it is, or when it is...i cry.

i can't help it!

i just get so excited for the person, and then i think about how far i have come, and how different my life is! it is really amazing.

SO...

i am beyond excited for this weekend.

the husband's cousin is getting baptized! she is *19 years old and the sweetest thing ever. she grew up knowing about the church, but never had the opportunity to be baptized...and now, at *19, she is making the choice to be baptized!

i cannot wait to go and watch her baptism and i am so SO excited for her!

congratulations chelsea! you are amazing!!!!!

a woman's worth

this post is for the ladies...sorry boys!

last sunday at church, there was a lesson about "motherhood"...yes, it probably should have been saved for this weekend...but that is ok. :)

we talked about the fact that every woman, with child or not, is a mother. we can be a mother to our friends, a mother to our family, a mother to those around us...a mother to or for pretty much anyone.

i loved that the lesson wasn't only focused on those who have children...there are many who either cannot have children, are having trouble with getting pregnant, have lost children, aren't in their child-bearing stage of life (aka me) and everything in between.

but the main point, like i said, is that all women are mothers.

i agree.

do we not all, as women, have that innate, sensitive, caring bone within us?!

i think all women do... it's just a fact: women are more sensitive (and way awesome...-er) than men. :)

i am so excited to be a mother when the right time comes... but until then, i will be a mother in other ways... for other's that might need a mother. (thinking especially of the little first graders in my class who need a little extra 'mom' time in their life because they are not getting the time at home. {insert breaking heart sound here})

i am sending my love to you all and wishing you a wonderful mother's day weekend! tell a mother, grandmother, friend, or anyone for that matter, how much you care for them... and please don't forget how blessed you are... all of you.

confession of a...human

i sincerely apologize for the lack of posts.

with health issues, stress, school, and well...life, i haven't felt very 'spiritual' lately, and seeing as it is that type of blog, well i have been pretty much muted for the time being.

i will get out of it...soon i hope.

in the mean time, does anyone have any questions or ideas of topics they would like me to blog about? If you want it to be annonymous, send it through formspring and I can read the question there, then post it to my blog. (it doesn't neccesarily need to be churchy either...you can ask {pretty much} anything...and i will do my best to get to a blog post about it!)

hope you are all having a wonderful weekend!

easter...late!

i hope you all had a wonderful easter! {i know, i know... i am WAY late...but thats just how i am these days. behind on everything}

i love easter. i love the story of the first easter, and the spirit that it brings every time i hear it.

can you imagine how mary must have felt?! i cannot even dream to understand how she felt, and it makes me wonder how i will feel when i really meet him...wow.

i love that i celebrated easter pre-baptism, and i still get to. score.

i love those similarities. it makes me feel at home talking about stories i know! :] remember this?!

i mostly loved that i sang my favorite easter hymn in church, "Christ the Lord is risen today"...i sang that growing up in the episcopal church and it is also in the LDS hymn book. double score.

anyway, i hope you all had an amazing easter!

any fun traditions that you all do on easter?!

3 years.

it has been 3 years since this day.

time is a blur these days and i hadn't really thought about this until tonight.

i was asked by a stranger (now a new friend) how long i had been a member of the church. i realized it was the 19th and quickly remembered that i share this special day with my brother-in-law who has a birthday today.

i told her that it is exactly 3 years today that i have been a member!

with a smile, the new friend said "that is wonderful!"

all i could come up with to reply was, "it is, isn't it."

i cannot truly express how different my life is now versus before joining the church.

thinking back on all the years i spent without the impact and blessings of the church, i wonder sometimes how i made it through.

i am not going to get all preachy on all of you, because that is the LAST thing i want to do.

i just want you all to know how happy this mormon girl is...

i see everything through my eyes, through the eyes of a mormon girl, more clearly.

love you all.

goodnight.

my reminder to pray.

why is it, that in the times that i need to the most, i forget to pray?

whenever i am mad...stressed...feeling overwhelmed...or completely ill or in pain, i never remember to reach out to my heavenly father and ask for help. yes, i remember to pray every night (and some mornings...mini-confession, i am awful at remembering in the morning).

is it 'the opposition' trying to drag me down to an even deeper pit of despair than i already feel? is it my attitude and my inability to let the spirit into my life no matter who much it wants to help?!

why must the husband remind me to say my prayers when i am feeling these ways, and why, WHY when he does remind me, do i get mad that he told me to pray and resist even more?

i am reminded of a story, of being reminded to pray, that i heard from a mother...and she's a reader, so i hope she doesn't mind me sharing...no names though ;)

this 'mother' was completely overwhelmed...stressed beyond belief (as most mom's tend to feel i am sure)... needing to get out the door to go one place or another the mother realized she had lost her keys. enlisting her children's help (all under age 9) they turned her home literally upside down trying to find the keys...no luck. the keys were no where to be found. in frustration, the mother continued to look when one of her children said to her, "mom, let's say a prayer". and they did. and their prayers were answered. they found the keys.

i was so amazed (and jealous mostly) by the faith of the little boy. he knows that when we need help, even if it is to find keys, we can pray to our Heavenly Father because He IS listening. always.

i think that we can all learn a lesson from this story.

no prayer goes unanswered. no prayer is too small (or too big!).

and lastly, prayer is a gift we have been given by our Father in Heaven. We all need to remember to pray...and to have a prayer in our hearts, always.

(it isn't so bad to be reminded every now and then either, but that's for me to remember!)

the same.

today i went to church at a different building than normal.

we decided to go to church at the husband's cousin's ward building rather than ours (the one his cousin has been coming to) so that she can get to know the people around where she lives.

(for those non-members, LDS church members go to church at buildings based on boundaries where they live)

it was a wonderful experience and it really made me reflect on the LDS church compared to other churches.

i will use my old denomination of church (episcopal) as an example.

i could go to 8 different episcopal churches on the same day and each would have a different sermon, a different set-up and essentially different beliefs based on what the pastor believes. in fact you could ask 8 episcopals what they believe and most likely they would all have something different to say as far as their personal beliefs.

the thing i love about going to the LDS church is that no matter where you go it will be the same! church meetings will all have the same organization, sacrament meeting will always be the same, the classes will be teaching the same material and everything has the same structure...

but most importantly, and different than almost all churches, is that no matter what LDS member you ask, they will express to you the same basic beliefs.

i love that the church teaches us exactly what we believe...and that through the holy spirit we can come to know that the church teaches the truth.

i love that when someone asks me a question about my faith i can tell them what i, and what the church believes and teaches...

it is amazing to me that from washington state to florida, to france, to australia and china the church is all the same...just different people. :)

i love it.

i love it all!