confessions of a convert.

this blog is about my life through mormon eyes right?

right.

on that note, i have something to share...

mormons talk about church a lot.

this is something i used to give my husband a hard time about {in a cute, joking way of course}... i used to tease him that he could take any conversation and "bring it back to church". in other words, he could relate anything to something "churchy".

what i have realized though is that as a member of the LDS church, church comes up every day. i am not talking a mention of the word "church", i am talking a full conversation, literally everyday, comes up naturally no matter how your day is going or what you are doing.

it is because being LDS it isn't just something you do on sunday, it is a lifestyle change. it is a part of who you are.

you could be on a date, with friends, at dinner, with family, at a theme park...it doesn't matter. sometime during the day church will come up.

i know that this is not true of other faiths...because i have lived another faith...i have friends and family of other faiths...i know many people of other faiths... it may be true of some church going people, but seriously...who talks about church everyday?!

well...i do. and i like it.

and that is my confession.

confession of a convert.

i had just finished dinner with the husbands family when my phone rang. i answered the phone to hear a lot of commotion and my brother saying, "hi, i have a really random question"...not thinking much of the situation i said "okkkk...."

this is what he said, "is it true mormons have to give 10% of their income to temple?"

OK... random is right, that really came out of left field! my brother is a self-proclaimed atheist so i am wondering at this point, which of his friends brought that up, and what else are they talking about?!

i answered his question, "well, we do pay a tithing of 10% of our income, but it doesn't just go to the temples. there are many other things the money goes to. it is also a choice to pay tithing, no one can make you do anything, we all can choose to pay or not, that is between us and the Lord."

he just couldn't seem to get over this fact...asking me how they monitor if we really pay 10%, if they check our pay checks and what they do if we don't pay the money...after explaining that it is all based on honesty he seemed to understand. i related tithing to the offerings made in the episcopal church we grew up in, this helped tithing make much more sense to him.

we finished our conversation with me reminding him that if he ever reads or hears something weird about the church to make sure he asks me before believing what he hears and he said "i know, i figured i would call you and brett because you are the the ones i trust about this stuff"

i am so happy that my brother was able to call me and ask for the truth about something one of his friends was just throwing around in a conversation.

it also made me a little sick to my stomach to think that my brother and his friends were talking about the church, when none of them are members. i know what a lot of people think about the church, and it isn't all good.

so here is the confession: it sucks to know that my family hears a lot of garbage and false truths about the church, and most likely believes it...it sucks to know that my family talks about me behind my back.

{my brother and i on top of tiger mountain}

"psh, dumb kids. i never was a kid, really."

what is it with some people?

i just left my end of the school year celebration with my first graders...the one where i promised i would wait to cry until i got home...felt tears forming, but bit my lip as hard as i could and held it back! success. (how awkward would it be to break into the ugly cry with all the parents there?!)

i am going to miss this group of first graders SO much! :( i had the best time student teaching. it has been an unforgettable experience.

but it has made me think about something.

it is obvious by my career path that i love children. what i don't get is how there are so many people in this world that don't like kids, that have that "i never was a kid attitude" and no patience. who do you think are you?!

i understand those who don't want to be a teacher, but how can you look at a child and not smile. they are so full of love and innocence.

the other day a woman walking out of a parking lot into a crosswalk got extremely mad at a young boy, no older than 6, for being "in her way" when she was definitely the one who did not have the "right of way" as she walked directly into his path without looking.

it made me sad that she was so upset at such a young child, when it was not even his fault. ok, ok... maybe she was having a bad day...but still, he's just a kid!

the Savior taught us to be as little children. to be meek, humble, full of love, innocence and to be mold-able. if we can always keep this in mind, not only will we be more understanding, but we will be able to find true happiness in life.

look to the children in your life as examples of who you should be.

advice...i need it!

ok, so i need advice.

blogging: i love it. i love being able to express my feelings {good and bad} and i love having somewhere to write everything down {other than my personal journal}.

mostly i love that when i am confused about something, upset or struggling, or just trying to better understand, i can write about it and through the writing process i am able to more clearly think about the topic/issue and really evaluate.

here lies the problem: i don't mind putting myself out there for strangers... at all! in fact i love it! i was just featured on one of my favorite blogs "that wife" {you can check out her wonderful blog and read the post here}. the thought of strangers and new friends reading my blog was exciting.

i also don't mind sharing my blog with friends from church. what i have found is that it is uncomfortable, for lack of a better way to put it, telling or sharing my blog with non-member friends and my family. i feel embarrassed telling them about it.

my friends who have read my blog tell me i need to be more brave to just post the link on my facebook account because it is worth sharing!...but i can't do it.

in fact i've tried... two days ago. i posted the link under 'my website' and then after i clicked submit and went straight back and deleted it.

i am worried friends will no longer be my friend because i am LDS. that they will think i am weird and gossip about me behind my back {something i know is already going on, and hurts to think about}. THE WORST PART ABOUT IT IS: those are the types of friends i would never want to have in the first place AND all my real friends already know i am a member and i am still embarrassed to share my blog.

what is my problem!? if everyone already knows, and i am in no way ashamed of my choices, then why is it so hard for me to tell those people who are close to me about it?

also, and this is a BIG issue. as you may have noticed, i have a very good relationship with my mom. i love her so much! she means the world to me and i tell her EVERYTHING {save some details of course}... she has no idea i have a blog! so many of my struggles as a convert are family related. surely i wouldn't be able to voice my true feelings as a convert {the very purpose of this blog} if they are mommy related and mommy is reading the blog! at the same time, maybe she should know?!

help!

another great question...

question:

There are lots of things I genuinely like about the Mormom church but lots of historical things that make me question and seem illogical (to me). Did you deal with any of these doubts when you converted or have any problems with things like this?

answer:

I definitely had my questions. I, as many people, had heard rumors and stories about the mormon church before being a member. In fact, in the beginning of my relationship with my now husband, if I was asked whether I would ever convert to mormonism I would give a foul look at said "no way!" because of what I had heard.

Three things I struggled with were: 1) polygamy 2) the temple and 3) Joseph Smith/ The Book of Mormon

Polygamy: My now-father-in-law is a very smart and well educated man, especially in church history. It took only one conversation on the topic of polygamy to understand why it was a necessary thing in the past. To many people's disbelief, it was never for {and excuse my bluntness} sexual reasons. The early church members were NOT sexual deviants...rather if you look into church history polygamy started as many of the men in the church were being killed for their beliefs. The women were left on their own right before having to cross the United States with their children on foot. Specific men, NOT all LDS men were called to marry other women. It would have been inappropriate for men to have lived with and cared for the women and children if not married...thus polygamy started. Now, of course, polygamy is illegal and the church stands by that full force. Any member of the church who tries to have a polygamous relationship is excommunicated {something that is relatively hard to have happen}.

The Temple:

I cannot stand being left in the dark. When I am learning about something, I want to know everything. This brought a problem when learning about the Temple because I just wanted to go inside! I didn't care I wasn't a member...it wasn't fair I couldn't go in. My interest in what went on inside was only heightened when my mom told me AWFUL stories about what she had heard happened inside to women. I was disgusted, mortified, and did not want to go. I relayed this information to my husband {then boyfriend} and he helped me tremendously. He, admittingly frustrated that I would believe such stories told me this, "My Dad loves my Mom more than anything. He loves his daughters more than anything... do you EVER think that he would let something like that happen to them?!"...I felt a little silly realizing what I had believed and realized that nothing like that would happen in the temple.

My confidence, love and excitement to go to the temple came through prayers this experience {http://throughtheeyesofamormon.blogspot.com/2010/04/vancouver-bc-temple.html} and and overwhelming feeling of confidence I received through the Holy Ghost as driving by the Temple one day. I can say, since being to the Temple that it is an amazing place of peace, happiness, and love. I don't think anything un-pure or negative could happen there.

Joseph Smith/ The Book of Mormon:

This is probably the number one thing people struggle with. It is an amazing, unbelievable thing to think of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ appearing to a boy of 14. I was told that if I didn't believe that they appeared to him, but read the book of mormon and found the words in the book to be true, the Joseph Smith 'story' must then be true as well, for if Joseph Smith had not seen Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ then the Book of Mormon would not exist.

Since being a member of the church, I have learned many more things about The Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith that help confirm to me that he saw what he did and that there is no way he could have made up the Book of Mormon. One such way was through talking to someone who had served a mission and had met a man who had lived in the Middle East. He was not a member of the church but knew the area's spoken of in the Book of Mormon very well. He expressed to the missionaries that there is no way someone could write about those places in that time without visiting the Middle East, which Joseph Smith had never done. The middle-eastern man joined the church as soon as he could even though he would have been killed for doing so if he returned to his home. He expressed to the missionaries who warned him he could be killed, "wouldn't you die for this church?"

Ultimately, like the how I gained confidence about the Temple, many prayers and thought were put into understanding Joseph Smith and what he went through {and also the Book of Mormon}. The more I read and the more I research the more I understand and realize there is no way he came up with the words written in the Book of Mormon by himself and I know that the words within it are inspired of God. So I no longer have an issue with this at all!

Sorry for the lengthy, scrambled answer! If I made other questions come up, feel free to ask!

Have a good one!

:]

Delete

formspring.

i was asked a VERY good question on formspring.

one that i have wondered myself at times, and had to get the asnwer from someone other than myself... so i figured i would share it with you all {including the answer}.

my formspring box is over on the righthand side of the blog...don't be shy, ask {mostly} any questions and i will do my best to answer it!

question from 'anonymous':

"You sound lovely, but how come your husband was willing to date a wild party girl (before!) when he was mormon?"

{thanksgiving 2005...post 'turkey bowl' win! and 3 years before my baptism}

answer:

Sometimes I wonder that myself...he has more patience than anyone I know that's for sure!

While I wouldn't necessarily tag myself as a "wild" party girl {though I did drink} I think meeting in high school helped. There were not many LDS kids at our public high school and so most of his friends drank- though he did not, they completely supported him for his choice not to.

We had the same core group of friends our Junior Year in High School which is when we both started liking each other. I don't think we would have met in college because he would have never gone looking for his future wife in that crowd...so I am really lucky...

ultimately I am not sure why he was willing to stick-it-out with me...let's ask him!

Husband's Response:

"Interesting question, I don't think I have ever been asked that before. Going off of what

Kristen already said, we met when we were in High School, I have tried to look past peoples actions and see them for the good (I think the good naturally outweighs the bad for most people). I saw Kristen for what she really was, not the partying or differing views of faith we had, but rather a person with so much good and beauty. Both inside and out.

Kristen was inherently different than all of the other girls at high school. There was just "something" about her. Admittedly it was very tough on our relationship through the first 2 college years, but I would say it also brought us a lot closer at the same time.

So to sum it all up, me being Mormon only helped me have the opportunity to look deeper at Kristen, rather than just seeing her looks/appearances and what you see on the outside. If I did not have my faith and was not Mormon I would have probably never even been looking for a girlfriend. I would have probably never stuck it out and would not be married to this wonderful woman.

Being LDS is all about trying to emulate Christ, and trying to become a better person through Him. It is about changing yourself into something that you were not previously. I guess it has taught me to see people in that same light.

Thanks again for the question!

-The Husband "

{may 2010...my 23rd birthday}

{he makes me smile...a lot!}

"i'm a convert, not a convert-er!"

since being baptized into the LDS church i have really only focused on myself. what i mean by that is that i have been busy growing my own testimony and learning more about the gospel and the church to help me grow.

i cannot count, or even remember, the number of times i have been asked if my family is interested, or been told i should talk to my mom, my brothers, my dad, step mom, step siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents...my cousins...my dog.....{just kidding, i don't even have a dog}...about the church.

i have to admit, it made me frustrated having so many people pressure me about my family, and hearing them say "they'll be members some day". i would think to myself:

'what do i care if they are members?! i was just baptized...let me figure myself out!'

well... everything's changed.

last sunday my husband and i watched a movie: "Joseph Smith: Prophet of the Restoration". i had seen the movie just twice before sunday, both times i was very emotional, and both times included a LOT of crying {even the first time i saw the movie which was before i was a member of the church}.

this time we watched it, it was much different.

the entire movie i could not stop crying. i cried harder than i have even cried when watching a movie in my entire life.

as i watched i couldn't believe that i was a part of what i was watching... that everything Joseph Smith did, everything he went though {losing friends, children, being tarred and feathered, being killed for what he believed} has become a part of my life and has made it possible for me to be where i am today.

and then i started crying even harder. i wished so badly, for the first time, that my family would know what i know. that they could share with me in the great happiness that i feel because of my membership in the LDS church. i wish their hearts would be softened and they could feel what i do, that they could just... understand.

i want so badly to sit by my mom at church on sundays. i want my family there with me. i want to go to the temple with them... to be sealed to each one of them.

i am filled with so many emotions.

love...

sadness...

faith...

hope...

anxiety...

pressure...

but mostly gratitude... for those members of the church who came before me. who showed me the way, and led those to come in the greatest way possible- by example.

i hope i can be that light for someone else. i hope i can be more like they were.

prescription filled!

yesterday was eventful. to say the least.

like this post mentioned, i have been having a little trouble with being excited about going to church. it's been frustrating because i know i love church... but i have just wondered why its been hard to go lately.

i said i needed to figure out the answer...

i said i would inform you when i found the answer. i found it yesterday.

my husband and i have not been to the temple since we were married...{which was one of the best/most amazing spiritual experiences of my life}. we finally went back yesterday.

both a little nervous because we were on our own {without having an 'escort' or family that knew what they were doing and had experience being at the temple} we went anyway.

the second we walked in the temple i was overcome with happiness. the temple is an amazing place. it is hard to miss feeling the holy spirit there... i was overcome with emotions and fought back tears multiple times during the temple session we went to.

once we were done we got lunch and went home.

all day i had been having pains in my stomach that started the night before. i figured they would get better but as the pain escalated and shooting pains started in my lower abdomen i was convinced to get a hold of the doctor on call.

before i even explained everything that was going on she quickly advised me that i needed to go to the emergency room as soon as i could.

reluctant, i went. {with my wonderful sister-in-law, as my husband was unable to come with me}.

2 hours later, at about 11:00pm, after being tested in every single way they could... and feeling a little 'medically molested' as my sister-in-law and i named it {i am extremely shy when it comes to going to the doctor} they informed me that i had an ovarian cyst that had ruptured which was causing internal bleeding.

the bleeding was causing severe pain but unfortunately all you can do is take advil for the internal swelling, medicine for the pain and wait it out.

i am in the waiting period right now.

now you must be wondering how any of this relates to me being happy about going to church.

well...when i got home i was lying with my husband in bed and i was in the best mood i have been in in a long time.

i was thinking about the temple.

the temple is such a blessing. it puts into perspective the important aspects of life and brings the spirit so close to your heart.

i could have been wallowing in my sorrows of pain, but rather the spirit was comforting me and i was happy. PLUS i was overcome with an excitement for going to church in the morning.

i know, without a shadow of a doubt that my feelings were caused by my husband and i going to the temple and the blessing that going to the temple brings into your home.

i am so grateful to be able to live so close to a temple. i am grateful to be able to go to the temple.

i am grateful for the temple and the happiness it brings into my life.

it wont be long before i go back again.

stressed

why is it that stress always hits you in one big tsunami wave!?

in my life, as i am sure in most of yours, everything has to happen at once.

for me right now it's finals week, school assignments, planning with my corresponding teacher who will help me with my student teaching {that i will be starting in january!} and meeting the kids in my new classroom, family in town, church callings, buying gifts, and on top of all of that its the busiest time of the year...which just so happens to be the time of year you want to cuddle up on the couch next to your christmas tree with your loved ones and do...nothing! but you continue to shop, go to parties, decorate cookies galore, eat cookies galore, and plan for endless festive activities...

why is life so hectic? scratch that...why do we make life so hectic?! i mean seriously, its crazy!

amidst the hustle and bustle of this holiday season it is my hope that we can all slow it down and take the time to cuddle with our family on the couch and that most of all we can remember what this time of year is all about...

the birth of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

even santa knows what's important...

giving to the poor.

it happens to us all.

whether we are driving in our cars and just outside our window someone is standing with a tattered cardboard sign or we are walking and {it seems like} out of no where a stranger is standing right next to us begging for spare change... we all have run-in's with 'homeless' men and women asking for money.

{the reason i have 'homeless' in quotes is not to belittle what it means to be homeless but rather because of the ever present question of is this person actually homeless.}

anyway...i often struggle with the question of if i should give these people money. without a doubt i would offer spare money i have if i knew that it would not be used on alcohol and drugs, but how do you know for sure?!

my mom used to keep brown paper bags filled with water bottles, granola bars and other snacks to hand individuals expressing hunger and the need for food, just to make sure they can't spend money on boose and while i should probably do this i haven't yet...

in the mean time i try to go by the spirit. in other words, i listen to my gut... if i truly feel like this person is struggling and needs money i will offer what i have...

just two days ago however, i was angered beyond belief by a "poor starving artist living on the street". after finishing my grocery shopping i was leaving the store and practically jumped on by a notorious man in my city who day in and day out stands by our shopping center. he asked for spare change. this man has always intrigued me because i've wondered what all his signs mean {he wears very random signs, and a coat that says 'artist skateboard mike'} and i really did feel bad for him so i scrounged for the very little change i had and i offered it to him. he took the change gratefully and i walked to my car.

while unloading my groceries i realized that the bag of oranges i had bought would never be finished by my husband and i so i ripped a hole in the bag and grabbed a couple oranges to bring back to 'mike'. i was so excited to have something to offer him and when i got back to where he was standing i raised the oranges up and offered them to him...

a look of complete and utter disgust took over his face. and rage began to take over my body. he looked at the oranges, looked at me and then, trying to come up with any excuse he could said, "oranges, uh... don't agree with me". without a word i turned around and walked back to my car.

this is the second time i have offered food to a "starving" person on the side of the road and they've refused to take it with an extremely bad attitude...it makes me angry beyond belief when this happens, i cant help it!

i am not sure about all of you, but if i was starving and living on the streets i would pretty much eat anything, as long as it wouldn't kill me...

i dont really have a moral to the story or reason for this post {as i will continue to struggle with to who and when to give money} however i wanted to share a frustration and question if this has ever happened to any of you? and if it has, does it make your blood boil like mine?! what do you all do when confronted by people asking for money?

being tested...

something has been happening the past few days.

an unusual amount of people around me have not only been bringing up the LDS church, but putting me on the spot.

monday: i was literally called out by my teacher..."who's the mormon in here?" then i was asked endless questions about random 'mormon' things, including how my parents feel about me joining the church. after answering that they are supportive of me being happy {over actually being happy i am mormon} my teacher responded that they are 'weird'. hmmm...

tuesday: another teacher started listing off churches too see who was from what faith. the third church he asked was LDS...i raised my hand...and unlike him moving on to the next on the list of faiths, he stopped and asked a list of questions as well...very similar questions to the ones i was asked the previous day. {others in my class laughed because of how weird it was that this interrogation happened just yesterday as well...i think they felt bad for me}. interestingly, my teacher said that 2 generations back his family was all LDS but they were excomm

unicated from the church because they refused to end their polygamous way, and actually housed polygamous families in their basement when the church {and state} ended the practice and it became illegal.

today: a workout class that i attend regularly has a very outgoing teacher. today randomly she brought up that her best friend when she was growing up was mormon {and she had 15 siblings}...then she TOO asked if anyone in the class was. she, luckily, had no interrogation for me {i think she was just curious}.

from all of this one thing is clear to me.

i am being tested.

heavenly father knows about this post, and he knows that i need to get my confidence levels up.

i will admit this trial has been hard, and kinda scary...but it is an answer to my prayers. i needed help with being able, and comfortable, talking to people about who i am...and this is his way of helping me... literally giving me practice.

be careful what you pray for... he's listening :]

criticism...

a few days ago in my 'student needs' class our teacher was talking about culture, and it made me think about the church...and really all churches for that matter.

"the best, and only way you can critique a culture is to be within it" he said....

my teacher was talking about race and gender specifically noting that, for example, no man should critique a "women's society" because they know nothing about what goes on....however even though he was talking about topics other than religion it made ME think of just that.

too often people spend more time critiquing others rather than working on themselves. i think we all fall victim to this at times in our lives.

specifically however, i feel that the LDS church is a victim of this criticism all too often. ex-members, non-members, people who know NOTHING about the church always have SOMETHING to say...this does not exclude a girl in my class {who is married to an 'in-active' member of the church} who thinks she knows everything and finds ways to take 'jabs' at me whenever she can...even if it is about the most trivial things... "we had to get lot's of place settings when we got married because his family is MOOOOOOORMAN" -she said to a friend in class and stared directly at me while doing so.

is it just me, or do a lot of people claim to be christian, and followers of Christ and then turn around and do things that he would never want us to do?!

lets get it together everyone, lets be civil to each other, and work harder to be kind... and lets change the quote from above to:

"the best, and only way to critique a culture is to...NOT critique them at all. its our job to work on our own personal lives...not to criticize those around us".

what will the prescription be?

in the midst of the storm {more like really rainy weather} outside, i feel like i have a storm within me.

this is the happiest time of my life right?! newly married, on my way to being a teacher {my dream career} everything seems to be going my way...and yet i have been sad.

after painstakingly questioning myself for about a week i figured out my problem.

remember, this blog is to reveal the REAL feelings of one convert to the LDS church, so no judging.

although hard to admit, the problem was my motivation and passion for church...i realized that while i was happy in other aspects of my life my fire and desire for church-y things was dwindling and this made me VERY sad.

why didn't i anticipate going to church on sunday like i had for 2 years? why was it hard for me to get on my knees and pray? why did i get irritated when every conversation i had led back to church?

was something wrong with me? was i becoming a 'bad' member of the LDS faith?

i felt sick. and wanted desperately to come up with a solution.

i had figured out the problem:

diagnosed. yes.

prescription: to be filled...still.

{and most likely re-filled constantly my whole life}

comfort.

there is comfort found in prayer.

today i found out some news that rattled the ground i walk on. it made it hard to concentrate...especially when i felt as though my emotions were schizophrenic...crying one second, laughing the next, angry with frustration at other moments....it was exhausting.

however, amidst the range of emotions and sadness i was able to bow my head and pray. there is definitely a power, and a difference when you are praying with an open and or broken heart.

day to day prayers are important...however when you say a prayer, as i said one today, tears racing each other down my face, {it seemed to me} it would be impossible to not feel love and know that you are being watched over and truly TRULY listened to...

i am grateful i can pray to heavenly father and for the comfort it provides in times of happiness, sadness, strength and weakness...

i am grateful for prayer.

afraid.

for the first time i was nervous about being a member of the LDS church.

that is something very hard to admit.

the school i am doing my masters program at is a private christian school. while there is nothing wrong with that, at all, something in class provoked my nerves.

in one of my classes my teacher asked if there was anyone in the room who was not a 'believer'. no one raised their hands indicating that everyone in my program {a group of 26ish students} is a follower of christ in one way or another.

in a room full of what my teacher calls 'believers' it made me start to think of all the 'believers' out there that are very against the LDS church. in fact many churches, and individuals do not consider the LDS church even christian rather they think of the LDS church as a cult, or an abomination.

i knew this when i was baptized. what i didn't know was how it would affect me.

what if there were students in my program that would hate me because of my religion? what if no one would be my friend? what if i would be looked at differently just because of what i believe?

i was very nervous when my teacher starting asking a few individuals what church they went to...

"please don't call on me, pleeeease don't call on me" is all i could think to myself. my heart pounding.

i was not called on. i was, however, for the first time, afraid to admit what church i belonged to, in fear that i would be looked at differently. in fear that my teacher would grade me differently.

that is not fair.

many prayers have followed that day in class. many prayers have been answered since that day in class.

i am not afraid anymore. i have courage. i am proud to be a member of the LDS church.

i realize, nothing and no one can bring me down... unless I let them...

which i wont.

"My New Life"

Stephanie Nielson...thank you for your courage, your faith and your beauty. you are truly and inspiration to women everywhere.

thank you.

vancouver b.c. temple

words cannot truly express my experience at the open house of the vancouver b.c. temple. as we pulled into the driveway i was overcome with the spirit and i knew that it was going to be an experience that i would never forget.

as we walked from room to room with our tour guide i was in awe of the beauty that i was surrounded by. every one of the rooms we entered was magnificent. even the chandeliers were so brilliant that it was impossible to not be captured by their immaculate beauty.

as we entered the sealing room (the last room on the tour and the room in the temple in which couples are married and sealed together for time and all eternity) i was filled with happiness and i couldn't help but glance behind me where my fiancé was standing. we exchanged smiles and i know that we were both thinking the same thing...that in just a little over 3 months we would be standing in a room very similar to the one we were in and that WE would be getting sealed to one another for eternity. tears of love, joy, peace, and happiness flooded my eyes.

having not only my fiancé and his brother and dad with us, but also my brother and mom along made the trip very special to me. the fact the i was able to share in this experience with them means the world to me....

my brother who has never showed an interest in spiritual...well... anything, was asking questions and and seeking answers. my mom, though still reserved towards some ideas of the LDS church was able to acknowledge and truly enjoy the simplistic elegance that is inside the temple.

my testimony of temples grows every day and the love and respect i have for my family and their support is inexpressible....

i am overwhelmed by the countless blessings and opportunities that i have been given since being a member of the LDS church... and i know in my heart that somehow the pathway that lies ahead of me is going to be even more amazing that the trails that are behind me.

prayer.

i believe that prayer is one of the greatest gifts that we are given by our heavenly father...

the power of prayer is great...we can pray alone or with another individual, we can also pray in groups, but no matter how we pray it is important to remember who we are praying to.

in prayer we are literally speaking to our father in heaven... he has sent us to earth to grow and learn, but he has not left us stranded. our heavenly father has given us the gift of communication and it is up to us to decide how often, if ever, that we would like to communicate with him.

heavenly father is always ready to hear and answer our prayers. in prayer it is important that we thank our heavenly father for all the blessings that he has given us, but in prayer we can also ask for guidance, ask for forgiveness, ask for support, ask for comfort, or ask for whatever our hearts desire...

when you ask and you pray, i promise you that you will receive and answer.

the first step in getting down on those knees.