confession of a...human

i sincerely apologize for the lack of posts.

with health issues, stress, school, and well...life, i haven't felt very 'spiritual' lately, and seeing as it is that type of blog, well i have been pretty much muted for the time being.

i will get out of it...soon i hope.

in the mean time, does anyone have any questions or ideas of topics they would like me to blog about? If you want it to be annonymous, send it through formspring and I can read the question there, then post it to my blog. (it doesn't neccesarily need to be churchy either...you can ask {pretty much} anything...and i will do my best to get to a blog post about it!)

hope you are all having a wonderful weekend!

easter...late!

i hope you all had a wonderful easter! {i know, i know... i am WAY late...but thats just how i am these days. behind on everything}

i love easter. i love the story of the first easter, and the spirit that it brings every time i hear it.

can you imagine how mary must have felt?! i cannot even dream to understand how she felt, and it makes me wonder how i will feel when i really meet him...wow.

i love that i celebrated easter pre-baptism, and i still get to. score.

i love those similarities. it makes me feel at home talking about stories i know! :] remember this?!

i mostly loved that i sang my favorite easter hymn in church, "Christ the Lord is risen today"...i sang that growing up in the episcopal church and it is also in the LDS hymn book. double score.

anyway, i hope you all had an amazing easter!

any fun traditions that you all do on easter?!

3 years.

it has been 3 years since this day.

time is a blur these days and i hadn't really thought about this until tonight.

i was asked by a stranger (now a new friend) how long i had been a member of the church. i realized it was the 19th and quickly remembered that i share this special day with my brother-in-law who has a birthday today.

i told her that it is exactly 3 years today that i have been a member!

with a smile, the new friend said "that is wonderful!"

all i could come up with to reply was, "it is, isn't it."

i cannot truly express how different my life is now versus before joining the church.

thinking back on all the years i spent without the impact and blessings of the church, i wonder sometimes how i made it through.

i am not going to get all preachy on all of you, because that is the LAST thing i want to do.

i just want you all to know how happy this mormon girl is...

i see everything through my eyes, through the eyes of a mormon girl, more clearly.

love you all.

goodnight.

my reminder to pray.

why is it, that in the times that i need to the most, i forget to pray?

whenever i am mad...stressed...feeling overwhelmed...or completely ill or in pain, i never remember to reach out to my heavenly father and ask for help. yes, i remember to pray every night (and some mornings...mini-confession, i am awful at remembering in the morning).

is it 'the opposition' trying to drag me down to an even deeper pit of despair than i already feel? is it my attitude and my inability to let the spirit into my life no matter who much it wants to help?!

why must the husband remind me to say my prayers when i am feeling these ways, and why, WHY when he does remind me, do i get mad that he told me to pray and resist even more?

i am reminded of a story, of being reminded to pray, that i heard from a mother...and she's a reader, so i hope she doesn't mind me sharing...no names though ;)

this 'mother' was completely overwhelmed...stressed beyond belief (as most mom's tend to feel i am sure)... needing to get out the door to go one place or another the mother realized she had lost her keys. enlisting her children's help (all under age 9) they turned her home literally upside down trying to find the keys...no luck. the keys were no where to be found. in frustration, the mother continued to look when one of her children said to her, "mom, let's say a prayer". and they did. and their prayers were answered. they found the keys.

i was so amazed (and jealous mostly) by the faith of the little boy. he knows that when we need help, even if it is to find keys, we can pray to our Heavenly Father because He IS listening. always.

i think that we can all learn a lesson from this story.

no prayer goes unanswered. no prayer is too small (or too big!).

and lastly, prayer is a gift we have been given by our Father in Heaven. We all need to remember to pray...and to have a prayer in our hearts, always.

(it isn't so bad to be reminded every now and then either, but that's for me to remember!)

the same.

today i went to church at a different building than normal.

we decided to go to church at the husband's cousin's ward building rather than ours (the one his cousin has been coming to) so that she can get to know the people around where she lives.

(for those non-members, LDS church members go to church at buildings based on boundaries where they live)

it was a wonderful experience and it really made me reflect on the LDS church compared to other churches.

i will use my old denomination of church (episcopal) as an example.

i could go to 8 different episcopal churches on the same day and each would have a different sermon, a different set-up and essentially different beliefs based on what the pastor believes. in fact you could ask 8 episcopals what they believe and most likely they would all have something different to say as far as their personal beliefs.

the thing i love about going to the LDS church is that no matter where you go it will be the same! church meetings will all have the same organization, sacrament meeting will always be the same, the classes will be teaching the same material and everything has the same structure...

but most importantly, and different than almost all churches, is that no matter what LDS member you ask, they will express to you the same basic beliefs.

i love that the church teaches us exactly what we believe...and that through the holy spirit we can come to know that the church teaches the truth.

i love that when someone asks me a question about my faith i can tell them what i, and what the church believes and teaches...

it is amazing to me that from washington state to florida, to france, to australia and china the church is all the same...just different people. :)

i love it.

i love it all!

i'm back and with a confession!

hi all!

i am so sorry it has been so long! a lot has happened. a lot has been on my mind. and now i have time to write.

finally.

today has been a very hard day.

i just got back from an amazing trip to arizona to see the husbands grandparents. it was wonderful being there, and soaking in the sunshine (i almost forgot there was a sun it's been so gray in seattle).

HOWEVER, i had to leave the husband down south.

yup, i had to catch a flight home to make sure i got to class by 4:00 this evening and the husband along with his brother and sister-in-law and our cute 2-year-old nephew are still having fun in the sun.

the second we got to the airport and he turned to give me a hug i started to cry. a) because i really wanted to stay and b) (the main reason) i did not want to leave the husband. i HATE not being with him. it makes me sick to my stomach.

then...i got on the plane and had the WORST flight ever:

-sitting next to the craziest child ever (i hate to say it, but she was such a bratty little girl!) and i love kids, especially sitting by them on planes because it allows for some entertainment, but this little 3 year-old was something else...i wish i was far, far away from her, we are talking screaming bloody murder (for the entire flight) because of reasons like her mom tied her shoe too tight, then too lose, then too tight. you get the picture.

-i spilled my pop in my lap...but it didn't look like i spilled pop, it landed so that it looked perfectly like i peed my pants. (the flight attendant wouldn't help me...she gave me 2 of those measly napkins for the entire mess). i had people STARRING at me. it was so embarrassing. i went into the bathroom to try to dry my pants and stayed in the tiny thing for 10 minutes crying.

-when i finally got the courage to go back to my seat and sat down with my laptop...i hear "I HAVE TO PEEEEEE". screaming in my ear was the lovely 3 year old. great.

then i had no time to go home and had to go straight to school and sit through 3 hours of the worst class ever.

THEN i raced to the house i am house sitting to let out their dogs and was locked out of the house because the girl that was taking care of the house while i was in AZ locked the only door i am able to get in. (i am finally in now).

ugh.

needless to say, i am glad this day is over. (but not glad i don't get the much needed therapeutic hug from the husband when i need it the most).

_____________________________________________

so now for the confession:

every six months in the LDS church is something called "general conference". general conference is a semiannual gathering of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. during general conference weekend, church members and others who are interested gather worldwide in a series of two-hour sessions to receive inspiration and instruction from church leaders

there are 2 2-hour 'sessions' on saturday and 2 2-hour 'sessions' on sunday.

total sessions that i watched: zero.

confession: i was lying in the sun, by the pool instead of watching conference (which i should have been doing).

conference is LONG. even longer than the 3 hour church sessions i just wrote about... we are talking 8 hours of church in one weekend!

now before you go thinking i am the worst person ever, here is the good news: i (anyone) can watch videos of all the talks given at lds.org and also there is an LDS magazine called the "Ensign" that has a 'conference issue' that will be coming out which will have all the talks published in it!

so yes, i didn't watch it live but yes i did pre-plan to not watch conference and to read/watch the talks when i got home.

did any of you out there watch conference? what were you favorites talks this time? OR if you are a non-lds reader, do you have ANY questions!?

i hope you are all doing wonderful!