news coverage.

i feel like this topic has been talked about a lot... but i just cannot get it off my mind recently.
it seems like these days, more and more, the news that is covered is all negative.
i hardly ever watch the news, or check news webpages because when i do,
all i see are stories about heartache, robberies, car accidents, murders...

i feel like that intent of 'news' was to give information to the public.
to empower us with information about what is going on around us.
that being said,
i don't think that hearing about a couple who decided they wanted to kill someone
for fun
is something that i need to hear about.
{yes, that is the latest news story that i saw last night}

i think that news stories like the one above give power to evil people.
i think that news stories like the one above poison our minds...
they give ideas to others who may choose to do the same thing, or something even worse.
they create a sense of paranoia...at least i know they do for me... and i'm sure i am not alone.

so where is the fine line between reporting news stories to keep people informed,
and reporting news stories for the shock and awe value?

i don't have the answer.
and until there is an answer, i'll stay away from the news.
i guess if something really important happens i will hear about it...
you may think i am crazy, or ignorant, or careless for doing this, and that is ok with me.
i just cannot stand to see another article about another innocent person being murdered.
i.just.cant.

teaching.

the longer i'm away, the more i miss it.

it's worse at night too...

when i can't squeeze chloe and remember why i am at home.

i know that staying home with chloe is an amazing opportunity, 

and such a huge blessing, 

but it doesn't mean that i don't miss teaching.

and trust me when i say, i miss it.

 a lot.

i find myself looking at my old school's website often...

looking at my old co-workers' websites and checking my work email.

doing this only makes me sad.

as you know, teaching is a huge passion of mine.

i loved being a teacher, and to toot my own horn a little, i was good at it.

teaching came naturally to me. 

plus with the amazing mentors i had, things just fell into place.

i miss having my own class of 21+ kiddos.

reading them stories.

watching their eyes light up and seeing their excitement as i taught them.

listening to them process new information.

i even miss the 'work' part of it all...the meetings and conferences.

but i love being home with chloe too.

i love being with her for every milestone.

watching her smile, laugh, and grow.

i wouldn't want to miss out on that for anything.

my plan has been to be a substitute teacher a day or two per week starting in january.

as january quickly approaches, however, so does my anxiety.

i would love, so much, to walk into a classroom and teach again.

but leaving chloe scares me...and i don't know why.

i really am not one of those moms, but this anxiety is killing me.

since chloe was born, i have never been away from her for more than 4 hours.

{and those 4 hours were when she was asleep for the night, not in the middle of the day}

it's not that i am afraid to leave her, 

it's because i have exclusively nursed her since she was born and she eats every 3 hours.

there are some things dad's just can't do. wink wink.

yes, she has taken a bottle a handful of times, but i was home for each one...

and it was more to train her to drink from a bottle in case of emergencies 

since there has been no real need for her to take a bottle with me being home all the time.

i know the husband can take care of baby c just fine. 

he is amazing with her.

i guess the thought of pumping {tmi...sorry}, storing milk, bottle feeding, and working, 

all at the same time, intimidates me. 

i think the only way to get over all this is to dive in head first.

i just question if i'm ready.

he's cheating on me.

it's every woman's nightmare...

to find out that your husband is cheating on you.

a few days ago, i was giving chloe a bath,

as i towel dried her off, i saw something faint on the bathroom mirror.

if you look closely you can see it...

d+c with a big, juicy heart.

immediately my mind raced.

who is 'd' and who is 'c'?

was it the previous tenants of our apartment?

surely that answer is no.

 we have lived in our place over 3 years and i had never seen the markings before.

i then wondered what the letters stood for.

secret code names perhaps?!

no one had showered in our bathroom besides the husband and i... 

i didn't write it, which means it was the husband.

whooooo the heck was my husband writing love notes about?!

of course, i proceeded to yell for the husband to join chloe and i in the bathroom.

"what is this?!" i asked.

the husband answered in a very cheerful voice:

"daddy + chloe of course!"

at that moment... i melted.

if he's going to give his love away to another girl, she's definitely the one to give it to.

lucky baby. 

hypocrite.

a pet peeve of mine is hypocrisy. 

if something really bugs you, ya probably shouldn't do it, right?

that being said, when i cook/bake i am definitely a 'by-the-recipe' gal.

you won't find me in the kitchen without a recipe. 

and let me tell you, or you can ask the husband,

i follow recipes to a 't'. 

the thought of no recipe? 

please excuse me while i shudder a little. 

today i decided to make some good ol' chex mix.

{one of the many kitchen-y items on my bucket list}

now, i have to mention, i make chex mix the right way.

what way is that you ask?

 the way without the extra garbage...i mean...without the pretzels and nuts.

everyone just picks out the cereal part anyway right?

{ok, maybe that's just me}

anywho, i had actually just finished telling the husband i was going to make chex mix

 "the right way"

when it happened...

i must love my salt because i decided to use a tablespoon instead of a teaspoon for all the spices.

whoops.

the irony... not 4 days ago i jumped on the husband 

for using a tablespoon instead of a teaspoon when we were baking chocolate chip cookies.

{as it turns out, he actually was using the right measurement, double whoops}

i had to laugh when i told him i measured the seasonings wrong.

let's just say, he had a good time with that one.

the good news: i saved the day {aka the chex mix}.

{my little helper}

why the 'x'?

i've always been bothered by one thing during the christmas season:

the word x-mas

x-mas trees...

x-mas lights...

x-mas sales...

it's everywhere.

but why must people write x-mas at all?!

i know i shouldn't let it bother me, but for some reason this one really gets under my skin.

the christmas season is all because of the Savior.

the holiday is not called christmas by mistake people...

saying or writing x-mas, in my opinion, is just like writing a big slash through Christ's name.

it just doesn't seem right to me.

do i judge those who say/use x-mas? 

of course not.

but i'll stick to writing the 6 extra letters.

a joyous union of eggs and nogs.

it's day two of december, and as you can see below on my bucket list,
i have officially checked off two items.
score.

and now ladies and gentlemen...

i would like to formally let you all know that not only did i find dairy-free eggnog,

i found two different types of dairy-free eggnog!

...so obviously i had to buy both and do a taste test.

the competitors:

'SO DELICIOUS' Dairy Free Coconut Milk "Nog"

vs

'Silk' Soymilk "Seasonal Nog"

i typically try to steer clear of most soy products, due to health reasons, so i have to say:

 i entered this challenge with a bias.

i tried the coconut 'nog' first hoping it would be the winner.

it was definitely 'noggy'. it had the right taste, and it was just as thick as normal eggnog.

however, i usually water down my eggnog with milk to make it less thick, 

so i tried thinning it with almond milk, but it didn't mix well. yuck.

it also had a super strong after taste. 

if you've ever had coconut milk products before, you know what i mean. 

it leaves a 'thick' aftertaste/feel in your mouth. i am not a fan of that.

next was the soymilk 'seasonal nog'.

for me... it was love at first pour.

it was thinner than the coconut nog, 

and the perfect consistency for a watered-down-normal-nog-lover.

i was just as pleased when i tasted it. it had the perfect balance of the eggnog flavor, 

without being overwhelming and without the yucky aftertaste.

there you have it folks. the soy-nog wins the prize...

and my holiday devotion.

is it sad that these are the things i get excited about these days?!