being a member of the church can be really hard sometimes. to be blunt, when you are baptized you are giving yourself a label. to those people who don't know anything about the church, that label can be a very negative one.
the other day i went to a small gathering (5 people total) with teachers from the school that i am interning at. the host was very excited to be serving margaritas... and eager to pass them out.
at this point, i don't think any of the other teachers knew that i was mormon, just that i didn't drink coffee...not drinking alcohol at this party would be a definite give away...(who on earth doesn't drink coffee or alcohol besides a mormon?! come on people, i mean seriously?!)
i obviously said "no thank you" to the margarita, as did one other woman...but OF COURSE i was the one that was singled out for it...
it was clear at this point that one teacher knew exactly "what i was" and she was not a fan.
little jabs about not drinking and being immature started to come out.
at one point she even went into the kitchen to get a re-fill, i glanced into the kitchen to see what was going on and she said "oh, kristen is watching, better be careful!"
i was hurt, mad, embarrassed, and did not want to be at the party any longer.
i never ever said anything about drinking being bad... i never said they shouldn't drink. i wasn't the only one not drinking, so why do she find the need to make fun of me?!
so here's the confession...sometimes being a member of the LDS church is hard, especially being in a crowd of non-members. you might get set apart by others for negative reasons, put down, made fun of, and sometimes laughed at...
i found it hard to handle, and i left in tears.
the husband tells me it will get better. he says that growing up in the church you hear that stuff all the time and grow a thick skin.
my skin is getting thicker each day. i am proud to be who i am. i am proud to be a member of the LDS church. i am proud of each and every decision i make.
it just sucks that at 24 years old i still have to deal with stupid bullies.
ugh.
I'm sincerely sorry that happened to you :( A few things...
ReplyDelete1. She may have thought her jokes were fun and harmless. Not an excuse but it may have been the case. Or...
2. She's just mean. My guess would be #1 but hey, there are ppl out there who are just plain not nice!
3. Sometimes I think "drinkers" feel uncomfortable (for w/e reason) around non-drinkers.
None of these are excuses, just things that may help. :) I am not even LDS but I see so much discrimination and hurtful things said to/about LDS ppl and even MORE SO to converts. Ppl seem to give Mormons who were born Mormons a sort of 'pass' on account of just going with the family flow. But to CONVERT?! Oh my gosh, who would ever to THAT?!! Converts def get judged and ridiculed so I feel for you (and I'm sry you are experiencing this!) Just know God is by our side when our hearts hurt.
anna- thank you so much for your kind words. it is true, i am often a tad on the sensitive side and that may not work to my advantage, it's something i definitely need to work on! you and the husband are on the same brain lengths i think, he gave me very similar advice! :)
ReplyDeleteSo I am just stalking your blog. :) I think this is such a weird situation (but not uncommon), because why would anyone care if you were drinking or not? What if you were Jewish and chose to abstain from pork? No big deal, right? I think sometimes people are preemptively strange/tease/are rude because they assume you will be judging them, even if you aren't. Anyway, I know this post is over 2 years old, but I hope you are finding things easier in your journey!! Great blog!
ReplyDeleteSo I am just stalking your blog like a creeper... I think this is such a weird but not uncommon situation. Sometimes people seem to act preemptively when they think you are going to judge them, even if you aren't at all. Anyway, I know this post is over 2 years old, but I hope you are finding an easier time in your journey! Great blog.
ReplyDeleteKelsey,
ReplyDeleteWhat are blogs for, if not for creeping?! ;)
I definitely think you are right about other people feeling judged. Sometimes I want to just call out the elephant in the room in these situations and say, "Ok people, I am not going to drink--but do your thing and have fun!". The last thing I would do is judge people for their own choices.
Oh! And, I am glad to you are here reading! Even if it is 2 years later. :)