if you just believe...

christmas can be a hard time of year.

amidst the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, and in spite of the holiday parties and sugar cookies galore, it is also a time where we reflect on ourselves and our families.

for me it is the time of year that reminds me that my family is not what is always was...

what i mean is that it is this time of year that really makes me think about my parents divorce and how much i wish that it never happened, how much i wish that my cute little family was one again...instead of little pieces.

i have been told that i shouldn't be bothered by it...that i am 23 and i should just grow up and get over it. but i don't see it that way. whether you are 3 or 43 i think it would still be hard to see your family going through something like that.

regardless what people say, i cannot help but be a little sad at this time of year thinking and dreaming about christmas past.

when i am feeling this way i turn to josh groban's song "believe":

"children sleeping, snow is softly falling

dreams are calling like bells in the distance
we were dreamers not so long ago
but one by one we all had to grow up
when it seems the magic's slipped away
we find it all again on Christmas day

believe in what your heart is saying

hear the melody that's playing

there's no time to waste
there's so much to celebrate
believe in what you feel inside
and give your dreams the wings to fly
you have everything you need
if you just believe"

if you haven't heard the song, find it on itunes and listen to it, it is beautiful... {from the polar express soundtrack}.

i especially love the part in red because it is so true. no matter how we are feeling before christmas...the joy, laughter, smiles, and company -no matter who it is- on christmas make the day truly magical.

i wish everyday could feel like christmas.

with that...

"Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house..."

...you know the rest of the story. get off your computer, snuggle by a fire, and go finish it with your family and loved ones.

and please, have a VERY merry christmas!

love always,

prescription filled!

yesterday was eventful. to say the least.

like this post mentioned, i have been having a little trouble with being excited about going to church. it's been frustrating because i know i love church... but i have just wondered why its been hard to go lately.

i said i needed to figure out the answer...

i said i would inform you when i found the answer. i found it yesterday.

my husband and i have not been to the temple since we were married...{which was one of the best/most amazing spiritual experiences of my life}. we finally went back yesterday.

both a little nervous because we were on our own {without having an 'escort' or family that knew what they were doing and had experience being at the temple} we went anyway.

the second we walked in the temple i was overcome with happiness. the temple is an amazing place. it is hard to miss feeling the holy spirit there... i was overcome with emotions and fought back tears multiple times during the temple session we went to.

once we were done we got lunch and went home.

all day i had been having pains in my stomach that started the night before. i figured they would get better but as the pain escalated and shooting pains started in my lower abdomen i was convinced to get a hold of the doctor on call.

before i even explained everything that was going on she quickly advised me that i needed to go to the emergency room as soon as i could.

reluctant, i went. {with my wonderful sister-in-law, as my husband was unable to come with me}.

2 hours later, at about 11:00pm, after being tested in every single way they could... and feeling a little 'medically molested' as my sister-in-law and i named it {i am extremely shy when it comes to going to the doctor} they informed me that i had an ovarian cyst that had ruptured which was causing internal bleeding.

the bleeding was causing severe pain but unfortunately all you can do is take advil for the internal swelling, medicine for the pain and wait it out.

i am in the waiting period right now.

now you must be wondering how any of this relates to me being happy about going to church.

well...when i got home i was lying with my husband in bed and i was in the best mood i have been in in a long time.

i was thinking about the temple.

the temple is such a blessing. it puts into perspective the important aspects of life and brings the spirit so close to your heart.

i could have been wallowing in my sorrows of pain, but rather the spirit was comforting me and i was happy. PLUS i was overcome with an excitement for going to church in the morning.

i know, without a shadow of a doubt that my feelings were caused by my husband and i going to the temple and the blessing that going to the temple brings into your home.

i am so grateful to be able to live so close to a temple. i am grateful to be able to go to the temple.

i am grateful for the temple and the happiness it brings into my life.

it wont be long before i go back again.

language...

another thought inspired by facebook...

after browsing facebook a few days ago i couldn't help but notice the language many people use. the slang, the swearing, the vulgar comments that blow. my. mind.

it made me think one thing.

i am really lucky.

i am lucky that the people in my life who surround me don't use that language. i am lucky that my husband treats me with respect and doesn't call me names...names that other men wouldn't find offensive at all {but are}.

i cannot believe that a little over 3 years ago that type of talking wouldn't have even made me think twice. {not that i had a trucker's mouth at all, but i just wasn't as sensitive as i am now to swearing etc.}

it's continues to amaze me...{the gospel of Jesus Christ that is}. my life has changed so much...and yet i have not really changed at all.

yes, i don't swear anymore...ok confession...only when i am REALLY mad. {i'm working on that one}.

yes, i don't drink alcohol anymore.

yes, i go to church every single sunday {for 3 hours straight!}

yes, i pray all the time.

yes...well... i guess i have changed.

but i am still kristen. just improved.

stressed

why is it that stress always hits you in one big tsunami wave!?

in my life, as i am sure in most of yours, everything has to happen at once.

for me right now it's finals week, school assignments, planning with my corresponding teacher who will help me with my student teaching {that i will be starting in january!} and meeting the kids in my new classroom, family in town, church callings, buying gifts, and on top of all of that its the busiest time of the year...which just so happens to be the time of year you want to cuddle up on the couch next to your christmas tree with your loved ones and do...nothing! but you continue to shop, go to parties, decorate cookies galore, eat cookies galore, and plan for endless festive activities...

why is life so hectic? scratch that...why do we make life so hectic?! i mean seriously, its crazy!

amidst the hustle and bustle of this holiday season it is my hope that we can all slow it down and take the time to cuddle with our family on the couch and that most of all we can remember what this time of year is all about...

the birth of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

even santa knows what's important...

giving to the poor.

it happens to us all.

whether we are driving in our cars and just outside our window someone is standing with a tattered cardboard sign or we are walking and {it seems like} out of no where a stranger is standing right next to us begging for spare change... we all have run-in's with 'homeless' men and women asking for money.

{the reason i have 'homeless' in quotes is not to belittle what it means to be homeless but rather because of the ever present question of is this person actually homeless.}

anyway...i often struggle with the question of if i should give these people money. without a doubt i would offer spare money i have if i knew that it would not be used on alcohol and drugs, but how do you know for sure?!

my mom used to keep brown paper bags filled with water bottles, granola bars and other snacks to hand individuals expressing hunger and the need for food, just to make sure they can't spend money on boose and while i should probably do this i haven't yet...

in the mean time i try to go by the spirit. in other words, i listen to my gut... if i truly feel like this person is struggling and needs money i will offer what i have...

just two days ago however, i was angered beyond belief by a "poor starving artist living on the street". after finishing my grocery shopping i was leaving the store and practically jumped on by a notorious man in my city who day in and day out stands by our shopping center. he asked for spare change. this man has always intrigued me because i've wondered what all his signs mean {he wears very random signs, and a coat that says 'artist skateboard mike'} and i really did feel bad for him so i scrounged for the very little change i had and i offered it to him. he took the change gratefully and i walked to my car.

while unloading my groceries i realized that the bag of oranges i had bought would never be finished by my husband and i so i ripped a hole in the bag and grabbed a couple oranges to bring back to 'mike'. i was so excited to have something to offer him and when i got back to where he was standing i raised the oranges up and offered them to him...

a look of complete and utter disgust took over his face. and rage began to take over my body. he looked at the oranges, looked at me and then, trying to come up with any excuse he could said, "oranges, uh... don't agree with me". without a word i turned around and walked back to my car.

this is the second time i have offered food to a "starving" person on the side of the road and they've refused to take it with an extremely bad attitude...it makes me angry beyond belief when this happens, i cant help it!

i am not sure about all of you, but if i was starving and living on the streets i would pretty much eat anything, as long as it wouldn't kill me...

i dont really have a moral to the story or reason for this post {as i will continue to struggle with to who and when to give money} however i wanted to share a frustration and question if this has ever happened to any of you? and if it has, does it make your blood boil like mine?! what do you all do when confronted by people asking for money?

being tested...

something has been happening the past few days.

an unusual amount of people around me have not only been bringing up the LDS church, but putting me on the spot.

monday: i was literally called out by my teacher..."who's the mormon in here?" then i was asked endless questions about random 'mormon' things, including how my parents feel about me joining the church. after answering that they are supportive of me being happy {over actually being happy i am mormon} my teacher responded that they are 'weird'. hmmm...

tuesday: another teacher started listing off churches too see who was from what faith. the third church he asked was LDS...i raised my hand...and unlike him moving on to the next on the list of faiths, he stopped and asked a list of questions as well...very similar questions to the ones i was asked the previous day. {others in my class laughed because of how weird it was that this interrogation happened just yesterday as well...i think they felt bad for me}. interestingly, my teacher said that 2 generations back his family was all LDS but they were excomm

unicated from the church because they refused to end their polygamous way, and actually housed polygamous families in their basement when the church {and state} ended the practice and it became illegal.

today: a workout class that i attend regularly has a very outgoing teacher. today randomly she brought up that her best friend when she was growing up was mormon {and she had 15 siblings}...then she TOO asked if anyone in the class was. she, luckily, had no interrogation for me {i think she was just curious}.

from all of this one thing is clear to me.

i am being tested.

heavenly father knows about this post, and he knows that i need to get my confidence levels up.

i will admit this trial has been hard, and kinda scary...but it is an answer to my prayers. i needed help with being able, and comfortable, talking to people about who i am...and this is his way of helping me... literally giving me practice.

be careful what you pray for... he's listening :]

giving thanks.

yes i know it is the day after thanksgiving...but it is never too late to give thanks.

i am so thankful for so many things in my life:

for my family.

for my friends.

for my amazing husband...and his incredible patience.

for a roof over my head.

for the ability to choose.

for my health and strength.

for the LDS church.

for prayer.

for the seasons...each one of them and the beauty they bring.

for the amazing technologies we have in this generation that keep us safe.

for school {most of the time :] }

and for everything in between.

this is truly and amazing time of year... cherish the small, tender moments in life. those are the ones that last forever in our memories.

formspring

i added a formspring box to my profile...its on the right hand side in the margin.

feel free to ask any questions you like...you can even make it anonymous! :]

criticism...

a few days ago in my 'student needs' class our teacher was talking about culture, and it made me think about the church...and really all churches for that matter.

"the best, and only way you can critique a culture is to be within it" he said....

my teacher was talking about race and gender specifically noting that, for example, no man should critique a "women's society" because they know nothing about what goes on....however even though he was talking about topics other than religion it made ME think of just that.

too often people spend more time critiquing others rather than working on themselves. i think we all fall victim to this at times in our lives.

specifically however, i feel that the LDS church is a victim of this criticism all too often. ex-members, non-members, people who know NOTHING about the church always have SOMETHING to say...this does not exclude a girl in my class {who is married to an 'in-active' member of the church} who thinks she knows everything and finds ways to take 'jabs' at me whenever she can...even if it is about the most trivial things... "we had to get lot's of place settings when we got married because his family is MOOOOOOORMAN" -she said to a friend in class and stared directly at me while doing so.

is it just me, or do a lot of people claim to be christian, and followers of Christ and then turn around and do things that he would never want us to do?!

lets get it together everyone, lets be civil to each other, and work harder to be kind... and lets change the quote from above to:

"the best, and only way to critique a culture is to...NOT critique them at all. its our job to work on our own personal lives...not to criticize those around us".

what will the prescription be?

in the midst of the storm {more like really rainy weather} outside, i feel like i have a storm within me.

this is the happiest time of my life right?! newly married, on my way to being a teacher {my dream career} everything seems to be going my way...and yet i have been sad.

after painstakingly questioning myself for about a week i figured out my problem.

remember, this blog is to reveal the REAL feelings of one convert to the LDS church, so no judging.

although hard to admit, the problem was my motivation and passion for church...i realized that while i was happy in other aspects of my life my fire and desire for church-y things was dwindling and this made me VERY sad.

why didn't i anticipate going to church on sunday like i had for 2 years? why was it hard for me to get on my knees and pray? why did i get irritated when every conversation i had led back to church?

was something wrong with me? was i becoming a 'bad' member of the LDS faith?

i felt sick. and wanted desperately to come up with a solution.

i had figured out the problem:

diagnosed. yes.

prescription: to be filled...still.

{and most likely re-filled constantly my whole life}

comfort.

there is comfort found in prayer.

today i found out some news that rattled the ground i walk on. it made it hard to concentrate...especially when i felt as though my emotions were schizophrenic...crying one second, laughing the next, angry with frustration at other moments....it was exhausting.

however, amidst the range of emotions and sadness i was able to bow my head and pray. there is definitely a power, and a difference when you are praying with an open and or broken heart.

day to day prayers are important...however when you say a prayer, as i said one today, tears racing each other down my face, {it seemed to me} it would be impossible to not feel love and know that you are being watched over and truly TRULY listened to...

i am grateful i can pray to heavenly father and for the comfort it provides in times of happiness, sadness, strength and weakness...

i am grateful for prayer.

afraid.

for the first time i was nervous about being a member of the LDS church.

that is something very hard to admit.

the school i am doing my masters program at is a private christian school. while there is nothing wrong with that, at all, something in class provoked my nerves.

in one of my classes my teacher asked if there was anyone in the room who was not a 'believer'. no one raised their hands indicating that everyone in my program {a group of 26ish students} is a follower of christ in one way or another.

in a room full of what my teacher calls 'believers' it made me start to think of all the 'believers' out there that are very against the LDS church. in fact many churches, and individuals do not consider the LDS church even christian rather they think of the LDS church as a cult, or an abomination.

i knew this when i was baptized. what i didn't know was how it would affect me.

what if there were students in my program that would hate me because of my religion? what if no one would be my friend? what if i would be looked at differently just because of what i believe?

i was very nervous when my teacher starting asking a few individuals what church they went to...

"please don't call on me, pleeeease don't call on me" is all i could think to myself. my heart pounding.

i was not called on. i was, however, for the first time, afraid to admit what church i belonged to, in fear that i would be looked at differently. in fear that my teacher would grade me differently.

that is not fair.

many prayers have followed that day in class. many prayers have been answered since that day in class.

i am not afraid anymore. i have courage. i am proud to be a member of the LDS church.

i realize, nothing and no one can bring me down... unless I let them...

which i wont.

"My New Life"

Stephanie Nielson...thank you for your courage, your faith and your beauty. you are truly and inspiration to women everywhere.

thank you.

what does it mean to be sealed?

we have all heard the words "until death do you part"...but have we all thought about what that phrase actually means?

in a typical wedding...and by typical i mean non-LDS wedding or in other words: a civil ceremony, the words "until death do you part" are spoken as the officiant announces the newly married couple...this has a significant meaning that many people do not really think about...this 'phrase' means that the couple is married here, on earth, only so long as they are alive...the moment that either of the married pair passes away the marriage that bonded them together is broken.

what is different about an LDS wedding is that the bonds of marriage are placed on the couple forever...for an eternity. this unbreakable bond is known as a "sealing". as a couple enters the temple for their wedding they enter a sealing room: kneeling before an alter the pair make promises to each other and they are not only pronounced man and wife but they are sealed to each other for time and all eternity. how amazing is that?!

a little over a month ago, on august 6th, 2010 i had the amazing opportunity to be sealed to my, now, husband. yes, you did read that right...in the time i have been away from my blog i was married..and what an experience it was.

i will be the first to admit, and i am being totally honest which is the purpose of this blog...the real life thoughts of a convert to the mormon church... i was nervous the morning of our sealing. with all new things in life we get nervous. however, that nervousness vanished instantly when i entered the sealing room in the temple and saw the familiar faces of my friends and soon-to-be family.

the spirit was so strong in the room that i don't think there was a dry eye. i tried my best to keep it together but was so moved by the words of the temple sealer (the man who married/sealed us together) that i couldn't contain my tears and was crying (hard) next to the man that i love, who was also crying (something that i have not seen in the six years we have been together).

the feeling was amazing.

i still feel amazing.

although it was very difficult not having my family inside the temple, i know in my heart and have been validated through feelings of the spirit that being sealed in the temple is what i was supposed to do.

i will never regret it.

vancouver b.c. temple

words cannot truly express my experience at the open house of the vancouver b.c. temple. as we pulled into the driveway i was overcome with the spirit and i knew that it was going to be an experience that i would never forget.

as we walked from room to room with our tour guide i was in awe of the beauty that i was surrounded by. every one of the rooms we entered was magnificent. even the chandeliers were so brilliant that it was impossible to not be captured by their immaculate beauty.

as we entered the sealing room (the last room on the tour and the room in the temple in which couples are married and sealed together for time and all eternity) i was filled with happiness and i couldn't help but glance behind me where my fiancé was standing. we exchanged smiles and i know that we were both thinking the same thing...that in just a little over 3 months we would be standing in a room very similar to the one we were in and that WE would be getting sealed to one another for eternity. tears of love, joy, peace, and happiness flooded my eyes.

having not only my fiancé and his brother and dad with us, but also my brother and mom along made the trip very special to me. the fact the i was able to share in this experience with them means the world to me....

my brother who has never showed an interest in spiritual...well... anything, was asking questions and and seeking answers. my mom, though still reserved towards some ideas of the LDS church was able to acknowledge and truly enjoy the simplistic elegance that is inside the temple.

my testimony of temples grows every day and the love and respect i have for my family and their support is inexpressible....

i am overwhelmed by the countless blessings and opportunities that i have been given since being a member of the LDS church... and i know in my heart that somehow the pathway that lies ahead of me is going to be even more amazing that the trails that are behind me.

2 years...

today is april 19th, which means....it has already been 2 full years since my baptism. i cannot believe how fast time has been flying by. my life has changed more than i could have ever imagined it would....

although i am the same person i was and always will be, i know that i am truly a much happier person now. my life is so much more simple, and a lot of the unneeded stress of the outside world is no longer a burden on my life...

i am healthier because of the word of wisdom...

i am more patient because of the scriptures...

i feel comforted when i am scared because of the power of prayer...

i am happier because i know that there is a plan for me, that my family can be together forever and that i am living my life in a way that i can be proud of myself.

love and marriage... and....temples?!

so...first, i apologize for the long period i have been away from my blog...i guess i am not as consistent as i thought i could be...second, so much in my life has changed...

on february 12, 2010 by boyfriend of 5 1/2 years proposed in, what i think is the most romantic way possible...but this isn't a personal blog so i will skip the details...sorry!

with a wedding in the near future it is time to think about the temple.

as many of you probably know, or have heard, members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints have the opportunity to be married inside one of the many LDS temples...as a convert to the church this idea, of being married in the temple, is a new one to me...

first, you must be a member of the church to go into the temple, and second you have to be living your life in a way that is worthy of going inside the temple...although i am a member of the church and i try my best to be the best i can, not a single person in my family is a member of the church...this means that NONE of them will be able to see me get married inside the temple....this, as you can imagine, has created a roller coaster of emotions for me, and i am sure for my family as well...

however, with all the turmoil, the mix of emotions, and the big question marks that are no doubt looming over my families head concerning the temple, the lord always finds a way to help us when we are in need....

this week, something very special is happening. a temple in vancouver, canada was recently built and is open for the public to take tours...this means that non-members, like my family, will have an opportunity to go inside an LDS temple and see how wonderful it really is. because i will be getting married in august and my family will not be able to join my fiance and i inside the temple, this was a chance that i could not pass up!

my mom and i are driving to canada this weekend to see and visit the vancouver temple. i know that this is going to be such a blessing and even though my mom and family will not be able to come inside the temple on my actual wedding day, at least my mom will have a vivid picture in her head of the temple and the types of rooms we will be in...specifically the sealing room (which i will be writing about very soon!)

if you would like to visit the temple...go. i would highly recommend it! i have never been inside a temple myself but i know in my heart that is going to be wonderful...i am beyond excited and cannot wait to go...what a great opportunity this is going to be for everyone who goes...and it does not happen very often...please take advantage of it...you have until april 24th.

here is a link to the LDS website with more information:

http://www.lds.org/temples/main/0,11204,1919-1-594-2,00.html

prayer.

i believe that prayer is one of the greatest gifts that we are given by our heavenly father...

the power of prayer is great...we can pray alone or with another individual, we can also pray in groups, but no matter how we pray it is important to remember who we are praying to.

in prayer we are literally speaking to our father in heaven... he has sent us to earth to grow and learn, but he has not left us stranded. our heavenly father has given us the gift of communication and it is up to us to decide how often, if ever, that we would like to communicate with him.

heavenly father is always ready to hear and answer our prayers. in prayer it is important that we thank our heavenly father for all the blessings that he has given us, but in prayer we can also ask for guidance, ask for forgiveness, ask for support, ask for comfort, or ask for whatever our hearts desire...

when you ask and you pray, i promise you that you will receive and answer.

the first step in getting down on those knees.

thank you facebook...

so...finally i have finished the "story" of my baptism...questions? they are always welcome... and actually they are encouraged! i would hope that if you are following my blog, and i am reaching out to you, that you would reach on back if you did have a question... about anything. if you'd rather ask anonymously be my guest!

so now what?... it was my goal in starting this blog to write about everyday occurrences that are different now that i am a member of the LDS church. i thought it important, however, to tell you about me, and to give you all (if there is anyone even reading) a background as to where i am coming from before jumping into anything....but now you have the background...and here i go...

facebook... how i love it, and how i hate it...however, recently it has been a really good tool for me to serve as a reminder as to why i do not drink alcohol anymore. i am constantly getting updates about friends (many of whom are more so acquaintances now) and reading the "status updates" on the infamous newsfeed. (for those of you who are not on facebook, this is the opening page of facebook that highlights some of the status' your facebook friends have written about themselves)...anyway, as of recently it seems that there has been an outpouring of status' about drinking...and more so about the morning/day after a "night out"... after reading a few of these status updates i found it impossible to not think back on my past... and i realized and remembered how unhappy drinking made me...

what i really want to say is.... thank you facebook...and anonymous facebook friends who remind me that drinking makes you sick. fall down. lose things. and forget what happened the night before. not to mention it makes you act like a completely different person who makes really bad decisions while not even realizing it.

no amount of "fun" is worth any of the above mentioned things.

my baptism.

the day of my baptism was nothing like i have ever experienced.

i woke up on the morning of april 19, 2008 with a smile on my face. i was ready. i got ready for the day and headed to my boyfriends house where his family was anxiously awaiting my arrival. the atmosphere in their home was nothing short of pure joy and the smiles on everyone's faces made me even happier than i already was.

the drive to the church, where the baptism was to take place, seemed much longer than it actually was. it was quiet in the car as we listened to the mormon tabernacle choir, and gave me time to really reflect on the event that was about to happen. as we got closer and closer to the church building the butterflies in my stomach became more and more intense, and by the time we reached the building, i will admit it. i was nervous.

my boyfriend and i went inside and got dressed in our white clothing... in the LDS church, individuals who are being baptized and those doing to baptizing both wear white. white not only symbolizes purity and cleanliness, but it also is symbolic of what happens after you are baptized. at baptism, a person is washed clean of their sins... they then try to live their life in the best possible way, the most pure and clean way that they can, white is a reminder of this.

after getting dressed, we returned to the room where the baptism was going to take place. i was shocked to see how many people had shown up to be with me on my special day. many friends and individuals from the church had come to support me, and most importantly, my family came. my mom came with her sister (my aunt) and my dad and his wife came, along with my brother and his girlfriend. it meant so much to me that they were all there for me on this day that was so very important to me.

as the baptism started i was nervous for so many people to be watching me. in fact i could barely concentrate on the people who were talking (i was able to chose two people to speak at my baptism)...after the first speaker, it was time for the actual baptism to take place...

in the LDS church, baptism is done by full immersion under the water in a baptismal font. as my boyfriend and i entered the font all my previous worries had disappeared. in fact, something rather amazing happened....my perspective had changed and it was as if he and i were the only ones in the room. i had forgotten that an entire room full of people was looking at me and i concentrated only on what was happening... the water was warm and i can still remember the way it felt against the baptismal clothing.

after i was baptized, i cannot describe the feelings that i was overcome with. as i write this entry i am also overwhelmed by emotion. for that reason, and because the memory is so sacred to me, i am not going to explain every detail, however i will say that i have never been so happy, and felt so clean in my entire life. it was if i was floating on the clouds and nothing could pull me down. ever.

i returned to the room where all my friends and family were, after changing into dry clothes, and the second speaker gave their talk. then the baptism was closed with a word of prayer.

i was able to meet with everyone afterward. the room was filled with happiness and time passed by very quickly. i wished that it would have lasted forever.

i want to tell you, that the emotions that i felt after i was baptized give me, without a shadow of doubt, the confidence and knowledge that i made the right decision to be baptized into the LDS faith.

my life was changed forever that day, and i am so happy that it was.

the letter...

the month leading up to my baptism went by really quickly...about a week before my baptism i was starting to feel really nervous and started questioning myself to see if i was making the right choice....the day before my baptism was a roller coaster, to say the least.

i had lost the confidence i had in my decision to be baptized and was so nervous i didnt think i would make it through the night. before i left my boyfriends house that evening he stopped me and said that he had forgotten to give me something...it was a letter from one of the missionaries father. i was a little confused as to why he would be writing to me...i mean, he didnt even know me... anyway, i drove to my apartment and read the letter before going to bed.

i am not going to say what was in the letter because it is too personal, however, i will tell you all that the words that filled the pages of the letter filled my eyes with tears, and my heart with love and joy...

the letter spoke of his trials and tribulations as a convert to the LDS church and gave me the reassurance that everything would be ok and that i truly was making the right decision.

i went to bed that night feeling so happy, excited, loved, and comforted. all because one man felt the need to write a letter to a complete stranger.

i am and will always be so grateful for that letter that i received.