my talk.

needless to say, i'm glad this is over and done with! :]

talking in church is sta-ressssssful!

so here it is, spelling/gramatical errors and all...oh and happy sunday!

“Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.”

“And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.”

“And by the Power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.”

So what does this mean?

Members of the church are very familiar with these verses. They might even be the most well known, or infamous versus of the Book of Mormon.

It is because of these 3 versus, I am standing here before you as a member of the church, as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Whether you were born into the church or converted to it, your story is really no different than mine in that we all have to gain a testimony of our own… we have to come to know the truth for ourselves. A truth that no one can force upon you or make you believe, a truth that only you can find for yourself.

For some, this truth may come quickly and easily… for others, like me, it may take a bit longer or be later in life…

Anyone with a question naturally wants an answer. In the world we live in today, finding the answers to our questions can be very easy. When we have a question we have to merely type it into Google, and with the click of a button we are looking at hundreds of answers to our question.

Sometimes I wish that all my questions could be answered this easily and I am sure that many of you agree…but I know that this is not the case. When life throws us curveballs… when we are sick, when we are in need of help, when we don’t know the right path that we should be taking, we cannot just sit on our computers and wait for a search engine to tell us what to do…we must be proactive and search our answers out. But we also must remember,

Answers don’t always come when you want them or need them.

Answers don’t always come in the way we expect them either.

4 years ago I was struggling in one of the hardest times of my life. I wasn’t a member of the church and I was going through depression, the stress of college, friendships breaking, family becoming more distant and changing from what I always knew it to be and just about everything in between.

It was in this time that I started to meet with the missionaries. The missionaries did their thing…they taught me the lessons, one by one…and then they had me read Moroni chapter 10 verses 3-5.

I read to myself that night, “When ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them…ask God, the Eternal Father…if these things are not true…and he will manifest the truth unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost”

I honestly felt like this scripture was written for me…I even wondered if the missionaries had slipped the extra page into my copy of the Book of Mormon, but I did what it asked, I prayed to God and asked for the answers, I asked God if the words that I was reading were true. I was truly amazed when…

nothing happened.

Because of this I learned a very valuable lesson.

Just because you are seeking an answer from our Father in Heaven and you pray for guidance, it doesn’t mean you will get the answer right then and there…

I cannot tell you all how many times I have prayed for an answer and waited and waited for it to happen, some of my prayers still have not been answered…other times, my prayers are answered immediately. For some reason whenever I pray for patience the next day I am bombarded by awful drivers, long lines and tons of dirty dishes…which I hate… I have sort of stopped praying for patience because I know that heavenly father loves it when I do…

So sometimes answers take a long time to come, sometimes they are immediate, answers can also come when you least expect them, but they always WILL come.

Going back to the scripture I read, when you are seeking the truth of the gospel, or in the case of trying to build your testimony of the Book of Mormon for those that are already members, it only states that Heavenly Father will “Manifest the truth”…- it doesn’t say you will receive an answer immediately or be confirmed that day, that week, or even that year. But it does say you will receive the answer.

I had been dating Brett, an amazing role model of the church, for 3 years, going to church for almost a year, meeting with missionaries for 6 months and praying nightly before I felt it…

Sitting in a lecture hall of UW, nowhere near the Book of Mormon, or any scriptures, I felt the confirmation that Moroni promises. I was overcome with confidence and excitement to join the LDS church. I knew at that moment without a shadow of a doubt that the words in the Book of Mormon were true, and that being baptized was the most important thing that I could do.

There are many different ways you can feel the spirit… Since the moment at UW, I have felt the spirit many times. It usually comes in a small ways, the flutter of my heart, or tears welling in my eyes, but occasionally I am completely overcome by the strongest feeling and knowledge that the Holy Ghost is with me.

I have heard someone describe feeling the Holy Ghost like putting on warm clothes just out of the dryer, although everyone feels the spirit differently. Through logic, through emotion, through a thought in your head speaking with your own voice…The feeling of the spirit can also be gradual…it might accumulate over time, not happening all at once…as it did when I realized the impact the church has had in my life the past 3 years and the peace that it brings to me at my hardest times.

In the bible, the Holy Ghost appears at Jesus Christ’s baptism as a white dove, but we know that the spirit does not appear in this way anymore, we also know that the Holy Ghost appears in both the Bible and the Book of Mormon. We must seek to have knowledge of the Holy Ghost….…

So then, who or what is the Holy Ghost?

Before his death, Jesus Christ spoke to his apostles saying, “the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name…shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. “

The Holy Ghost, also being called: the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God, the Spirit of the Lord, and Comforter has appeared to men since the beginning of time, and is the “convincing witness that the gospel is true” as the Bible dictionary states.

The Holy Ghost works in unity with our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ. He is one of the 3 members of the Godhead, a personage of spirit, completely distinct and separate from God the Eternal Father and his son Jesus Christ. He plays many roles in our lives: He “witnesses of the Father and the Son” (2 Nephi 31:18) and reveals and teaches “the truth of all things” (Moroni 10:5). We can receive a sure testimony of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ only by the power of the Holy Ghost. Feeling the Holy Ghost carries far more certainty than any communication we can receive in other ways.

Everyone on Earth, Christian or not, can feel the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost will interact with them, but as followers of Christ he promised to send the Holy Ghost to be with us, and allows us to receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

The gift of the Holy Ghost is the ability to have the Holy Ghost with you all the time so long as you are worthy.

We are given this gift, in the LDS church, after we are baptized, by the laying on of hands by a member of the priesthood, which is the authority to act in the name of God.

In Matthew chapter 3 verse 11 it states, “I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance: but he that cometh after me is mightier than I, whose shoes I am not worthy to bear: he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and with fire”

We must not only be baptized by water but also “with the Holy Ghost”…the fire, stated in the scripture, is the feelings of the Holy Ghost. This fire builds within the heart and testifies even stronger of the truthfulness of the Gospel. The fire is in the heart and the soul. For a convert or a member born into the church, this fire builds within, testifying and confirming the choices we have made to be baptized and or remain a member of this church.

Elder Loren C. Dunn of the Quorum of the Seventy said, “The new convert who has accepted the gift of the Holy Ghost with the right spirit will experience not only a cleansing but a feeling that will give him a new heart and make of him a new person”

I have felt this feeling of being a “new person” since baptism and many family members and friends have told me that I just seem “happier”. I know that this is because of the Gift of the Holy Ghost and the change it has in my life.

So we all have good idea of who the Holy Ghost is and what the Holy Ghost does now, but I would like to explain the other important aspects of the verses I read…

Within the 3 verses, and prior to feeling the confirmation of the truth of all things though the Holy Ghost, we are given some criteria:

We must ask Heavenly Father for the truth “in the name of Jesus Christ”, we must ask with a “sincere heart” and with “real intent” having “faith in Christ”.

Real intent means everything to me. To know the truth, we cannot ask in haste, or impatience. Too often I feel that people seeking the knowledge of the church pray and ask these questions, hoping for the answer to be that the church is not true…they want to prove the church wrong. I know that the Holy Ghost will not reveal the truth to these people until they have broken down those walls and truly want to know the answer.

We have heard it so many times, that we must pray with a softened heart. We must pray with the deepest sincerity in our mind and soul. For me, it wasn’t until I truly needed an answer to my prayers, rather than wanting a quick, sudden answer that I was given the confirmation I needed.

If we follow what these three verses say, we are bound to receive an answer, whether it be the moment we ask, or a year later in a lecture hall.

The spirit is like the sun, it seems so far away, but its glow and its warmth are able to be felt by all people. The suns rays can touch all people, and I know that the peace and happiness this church brings to my life can do the same for everyone.

I would argue that the entire Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints hangs on 3 verses…A promise that no other religion has…a promise for the truth of all things. Within the scriptures, written 1500 years ago, a prophet of God, Moroni told us that we can read this book and come to a certain knowledge…not a hope, or a thought…but a certain knowledge that this book, and this CHURCH are true.

I leave you these words in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

i'm back!

hey ya'll! {had to use my new southern accent}

just wanted to let everyone know i am back and finally giving the talk i prepared tomorrow in church.

yikes.

i will post my talk tomorrow afternoon. :]

update and new talk date.

just a little update...

although i haven't left our apartment in 3 days...and i feel like a hermit...pajamas and movies all day, not showering or getting ready {it's awful} i can finally swallow without fire in my throat, it's a miracle. my throat doesn't really hurt at all anymore, the antibiotics are helping a lot!

now it's just a lot of congestion and a killer cough, literally killer...i have to take the biggest breath before i cough or else i run out of oxygen to get through it! it sucks, BIG time.

anyway...i am alive, still pretty sick, but alive.

the husband came home after church on sunday {yes i was right, i cried when i saw him} but he read me his talk and pretended that he was giving it again. it was great, not as good as seeing him 'live' but still wonderful.

i just found out that i will be giving my talk on sunday the 13th. i am happy that i didn't go to all that planning for nothing, but sad because my talk really went well with the husbands.

oh well. nothing i can do about it now.

for those of you who asked, look for my talk to be posted on Sunday the 13th {of March}.

and for everyone out there, i hope you are having a wonderful week!

today.

since 5:30am, i have cried A LOT.

i wish i could say that it was because i was rehearsing my talk, but i didn't even give my talk today.

yes, you read that right, i did not give my talk, in fact i didn't even go to church.

a few days ago i developed a cold, and in the past 2 days an awful cough had been added to it. this morning {i consider it last night since it was so early} i woke up because my throat was on fire. i couldn't swallow or breathe because it hurt so badly.

the husband woke up with me and consoled me, because i was crying due to the pain...he helped me spray that throat spray to help ease the pain, and rubbed my back to help me fall back asleep.

he woke up around 6:50am to get ready for a meeting he has each week before church. the leaders of our ward meet at 8:00am to go over logistics of the week etc.

at the meeting, the bishop and his counselors asked if we were excited and ready for our talks and the husband said that i wasn't really feeling well but we were ready.

the husband called me and said they were concerned and didn't want me to speak if i wasn't feeling well...i knew in my head that i shouldn't speak today {i couldn't even get a full sentence out, my voice was so gone}, but i insisted.

i had to speak the same day as the husband. i had to be there to support him. and my mom and grandma were coming! {remember} i just had to give my talk today.

i got a text about 10 minutes later from the husband, as i was getting out of the shower saying that they didn't feel like i should talk and they would re-schedule me.

i melted... i burst into tears knowing that i would miss the husbands talk and realizing how sick i felt and how much my throat hurt.

of course i had to call my mom, and the second she answered i started crying even harder. {crying does not help a sore throat at all, let me tell you}

i struggled to get any words out as i told her what was going on.

crying still, i got back into bed depressed, miserable, and very upset.

now i am awake, waiting for the husband to walk in the door from church and knowing that i will cry the second i see him.

this sucks.

i feel like i cannot handle anything else happening to me right now. you already know about all the migraines, plus in the past week i have been dealing with a hemorrhagic ovarian cyst that is causing a lot of pain, now this sickness {the husband and i think it is probably strep because of those infamous little white spots on the back of my throat} and...sorry if there are any guys reading this... but i am 90% sure i am going to get the 'p' soon because i am getting cramps {although this may be due to coughing so hard that i am getting an ab workout...a possible benefit?! not really}.

i am sorry to those of you who wanted to read my talk today...i wish with all my heart that i was able to give my talk and post it today, but i promise i will post it after i give it, if i ever get to..

for now i am going to go lie down, hopefully with some soup {if i can swallow it}.

happy sunday.

getting ready for sunday.

i just finished writing 'the talk'.

sheesh. i wrote most of it yesterday and thought i was done and then realized that it was not long enough...after addding a bit more today its finally long enough.

the only problem is that everytime i read it outloud i cry. ugh.

this happened last time i gave a talk too...but i was lucky in that i didn't even shed a tear when i read it in church.

here's to hoping that is the case again...

no public tears please. its just...awkward.