whether we are driving in our cars and just outside our window someone is standing with a tattered cardboard sign or we are walking and {it seems like} out of no where a stranger is standing right next to us begging for spare change... we all have run-in's with 'homeless' men and women asking for money.
{the reason i have 'homeless' in quotes is not to belittle what it means to be homeless but rather because of the ever present question of is this person actually homeless.}
anyway...i often struggle with the question of if i should give these people money. without a doubt i would offer spare money i have if i knew that it would not be used on alcohol and drugs, but how do you know for sure?!
my mom used to keep brown paper bags filled with water bottles, granola bars and other snacks to hand individuals expressing hunger and the need for food, just to make sure they can't spend money on boose and while i should probably do this i haven't yet...
in the mean time i try to go by the spirit. in other words, i listen to my gut... if i truly feel like this person is struggling and needs money i will offer what i have...
just two days ago however, i was angered beyond belief by a "poor starving artist living on the street". after finishing my grocery shopping i was leaving the store and practically jumped on by a notorious man in my city who day in and day out stands by our shopping center. he asked for spare change. this man has always intrigued me because i've wondered what all his signs mean {he wears very random signs, and a coat that says 'artist skateboard mike'} and i really did feel bad for him so i scrounged for the very little change i had and i offered it to him. he took the change gratefully and i walked to my car.
while unloading my groceries i realized that the bag of oranges i had bought would never be finished by my husband and i so i ripped a hole in the bag and grabbed a couple oranges to bring back to 'mike'. i was so excited to have something to offer him and when i got back to where he was standing i raised the oranges up and offered them to him...
a look of complete and utter disgust took over his face. and rage began to take over my body. he looked at the oranges, looked at me and then, trying to come up with any excuse he could said, "oranges, uh... don't agree with me". without a word i turned around and walked back to my car.
this is the second time i have offered food to a "starving" person on the side of the road and they've refused to take it with an extremely bad attitude...it makes me angry beyond belief when this happens, i cant help it!
i am not sure about all of you, but if i was starving and living on the streets i would pretty much eat anything, as long as it wouldn't kill me...
i dont really have a moral to the story or reason for this post {as i will continue to struggle with to who and when to give money} however i wanted to share a frustration and question if this has ever happened to any of you? and if it has, does it make your blood boil like mine?! what do you all do when confronted by people asking for money?
No, but I, too, wonder at his signs and saw him in QFC one day a couple of weeks ago. It was curious to me, as I can't afford to shop there regularly.
ReplyDeletei always see him outside the mall! but that is so irritating! "skate board mike" wont be getting more money from me anytime soon!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you! I also try to follow my gut about it. I watched a special on the news here a few years ago where they were video taping homeless people with hidden cameras to see how bad their circumstances really were. They followed this one lady who looked really ragged to the place where she would beg and she made quite a bit of money in just one day. Then afterward, they followed her into a parking garage where she got into her BMW and followed her to her CONDO which was in a very expensive part of SLC. After seeing that, I have a really hard time giving my money to beggars sometimes. I also know someone who always asks the people who have signs that say things like "Will work for food" to come work for him because he does construction. He says that out of the hundreds of times he has offered work to these people, only 4 or 5 have accepted. The rest say "No thanks" and walk away, they obviously just want the money. I believe that a lot of people in that situation, choose to be there so I don't feel too sorry for them. But like I said, I tend to follow my gut and give money to people that I really think NEED it.
ReplyDeleteKatelyn...that is CRAZINESS!! it makes me so mad...seriously!
ReplyDeleteI just ran into your blog from That Wife and just had to comment on this post.
ReplyDeleteI know some people that just offer what they can to whoever is asking for it. But I have never been able to for reasons and experiences similar to all the ones above. My husband and I were in New York when a homeless lady came up to us asking for money. We said we had no money but offered her our doughnut as that is the food we had on hand. She looked as us in discuss, said something rude, and walked away. Now a doughnut is not persons favorite food and some people can't eat it for health reasons but those are not good enough reasons for a homeless person to be so rude.
I continually struggle with this. I want to help. But I also don't agree with helping fake homeless people. If I have no doubt they need help, I give what change I have. But I usually just try and offer food or some material thing rather than hand out money. I just wish people were more honest so nobody needed to question twice about giving. I try to take the stance that it is better to give than to question and end up not giving to somebody who really does need it. But either way, it would be nice if they weren't soo rude when people are trying to help.
I love what you wrote at the end, "it is better to give than to question and end up not giving to somebody who really does need it". When you look at it through those eyes all the rudeness will drown itself out when you know you've actually helped someone in dire need.
ReplyDeletethank you for the new, my new, perspective!