the worst feelings.

i am feeling inadequate in every sense of the word.

i don't think anything i do ever adds up to what i want it to be.

or what others want it to be.

it is a really sucky feeling. 

i have always been a perfectionist...

but this is different.

 it is having an impact on not just myself but those most important to me. 

i am not happy with myself so why should others be happy with me?

i am at a complete loss as to what to do.

i am not doing "x" enough.

i don't "y" enough.

i should "z" more.

i am trying.

i really am.

but it's not enough.

thinking about lots. 

clearly.